Helpless

HELPLESS

So. May 7th approaches. What’s the significance? That’s the day my son goes in for minor surgery. The removal of a kidney stone. In Kentucky.

You, know, that state where I spent over three weeks visiting him and got poisoned four times. Yes. That state. The land of Mitch McConnell.

The point is, I won’t be there.

Sounds monstrous, doesn’t it? How could a father skip being at his only son’s bedside even for a relatively simple, routine surgery?

Try explaining it to my “all the world’s problems boils down to fags and adulterers” cultist ex-wife. Good luck. May as well try to talk Rick Santorum out of vomiting when thinking of gays (so full of hate is he, so close to calling his brothers and sisters worthless, but he keeps that pesky part of his favorite book locked away with the part about helping the poor and the part about selling all his belongings and following Jesus).

Is it because I’m tired of, for example, being poisoned? Contacting so-called authorities and representatives of at least three states about various illegal activities (NY, MN and TN, plus the leadership of both House and Senate, plus the White House and Justice Department…isn’t that what you are supposed to do when government breaks the law? Yes, I know, look how well the whistleblower laws are protecting those who blew…)? Am I just trying to save my own mangy skin?!? How selfish of me!

No. But that doesn’t stop them trying to bring about…whichever unpleasant outcome they are attempting this hour. No.

At 3:04PM local time today I sent out the following tweet:

“Power doesn’t give up without a fight.” No. Presidents do. #PoliticalPuppetTheater #SmokeAndMirrors

This was a reference to what I would call a call for a new MLK. It was mentioned from Wisconsin in 2010. I saw it on the big screen at a burger joint in Minneapolis along with other OFAers.

As I hope I have made clear as day, that cannot happen in the US because of the lopsided tech levels. It just won’t. Not without leveling the playing field (and for f***’s sake, do I look or sound like a leader like that? Anyone who thinks otherwise is lying to himself). And that won’t happen without help.

At 3:16PM local time, that is twelve minutes after the tweet, my son decided to text me with his usual opening, “Hey. What’s up?” It’s a bit like Groundhog Day when he does that.

But what he said is not the point. What is the point is how, over and over again, the thing that crawled out somewhere from the Executive branch (be it CIA, something out of Defense, a subcontractor for both or either, it is still the Executive) prompted him to text me via voice-to-skull or whatever method.

This has happened over and over again. I first noted it, I believe, when I started getting phone calls from, for example, the DNC, DSCC, 21st Century Democrats, etc. within minutes or seconds of sending an email to one of my representatives. This was at first spooky, but then I decided it was some brainiac political strategist’s idea to hit people up for money right after they asked for help from their reps. Don’t know if that is the case but, here is what I have learned since:

“Don’t pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side.”

Money talks, blood, sweat and tears walk.

No help. Nothing. Despite volunteering my free time (and also sometimes getting paid) for working the campaigns in 2010. This while drugged, harassed, and tortured. These thinly veiled threats (which mentioning just makes you look paranoid… “Oh, if you knew Cynthia, like I know Cynthia…”) are common. They are designed to raise the stress levels, to shake you up, to knock you off balance, to make you wonder, “If I stop, maybe they will…”

They won’t. Been there, done that at least a dozen times. Death or arrest by one method or other is their goal, and all that matters to them. Period. They do not operate on that level the rest of us call “common sense.” It is like dealing with a serial killer. Remorseless and relentless.

Then I recall how these same people in 2004 had my son run over with a SUV (and the Squidgate juror’s son in 2008). In my case, it was over the political / religious / military discussion on EZBoard (which was hacked in 2005, removing the evidence of the discussion). I have already covered this.

I don’t know why in the juror family case. They do not live as others do, that is they are about as self-sufficient as I can imagine anyone being and still living within a town and not in the woods or a desert. I expect that’s a trend that the greedy would hate to see catch on…No, they want us all begging for more at MamaCorp’s teat. That’s probably enough right there, though there was also the interesting tale about how their firstborn only got a “temporary Baptism”, despite their concern that he might not live, because they were, according to the priest, living in sin because they were not practicing Catholics even though they were married (I think I got that right. “Your possibly dying infant son will be pulled out of Heaven and sent directly to Hell if you don’t become Catholic.”). That son survived, by the way, and they did not. So much for the Almighty having that priest’s back, eh?

So, add freedom from corporate dependence to religious freedom and you have cause for concern for the overly paranoid in our guberment (see again the sticky post at top…”threat to the social order” taken way too many steps too far).

You see, it’s not that I don’t want to be there. And of course the monsters that-Obama-cannot-control (or whatever narrative you want to lay over that…I believe he wants to…I’m just wondering when he will try or try again or what-have-you) know that as well, and are attempting to capitalize on that. I knew this would be the “game” when the surgery was suddenly necessary shortly before I left.

But the larger point is not that I have had my parental bond wiring cut in my head but rather that, given they already tried to kill him once over much less, given that if or when the Fourth Reich (call it what you want, it’ll be appropriate when it happens) goes mainstream they will probably kill him anyway along with a lot of other people, given that I cannot even dine out without being poisoned in the US (not that I expect much better in Canada—if they thought the harassment here was going to be a surprise, they were again sorely wrong—though now I think about it, it has been a little lighter…hmm), given that this might just be about survival of the species (by that I mean to include human beings besides sociopaths…they are human too, but not just their survival matters, right?)… Given, given, given…

Given all of that and what else is at stake, I just will not be there. I think I’ve shown bravery, for whatever that is worth. I certainly don’t have to prove that to myself anymore. So, why be there when I would be helpless to alter the outcome?

Regret should anything “accidentally” go wrong? For certain. But that would just be another heartache on top of so many others that after a while it stops mattering how much pain there is.

For moral support? You betcha.

But this is war. Not mine, but yet I am drawn into it. Pain and loss are to be expected when dealing with a beast that just won’t be tamed, that steadfastly believes it is in the right despite every indication otherwise (unless you count profiting off of piles of dead bodies as an indicator) and that either operates in spite of or with the blessing of someone who once offered hope.

So, sorry, son. And I feebly add the other sorriest excuse any parent can offer, “You’ll understand one day.”

Maybe.

(And that’s what prompted the following tweet about being bad at this. They are. But with those resources, even a blind pig finds an ACORN once in a while. Get it? Re-election humor).

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