Halloween Hackings of the Third Kind

“It’s the same old theme as nineteen-sixteen.”

I could, I suppose talk about the coming UFO invasion, about being abducted and detained indefinitely, probably to be experimented upon. That would fit the season.

Or, I could go on about ghouls capturing children for the nefarious pleasures of their masters. That’s certainly terrifying.

Then there’s the fact that we haven’t seem to have caught a realworld Freddie Krueger in years. In fact, I think, only one since the inception of the American Stasi in 2004 and 2005. No, Jason Vorheeves has found a new home. He and Michael Myers are doing what they do–to you and yours–on your nickel. Believe me, once you’ve spent enough time on the wrong side of the intel community, you realize that you are at the mercy of sadistic, homicidal maniacs.

You have a better explanation? The funding for mental health has taken a nosedive. It’s not as though they are all in hospitals, being drugged and behaving themselves. No, they just exploring different avenues of “fun” as directed. How hard would it have been to find them given unprecedented levels of surveillance?

And then there are the ones who aren’t the professional sadists, killers, merely the “pod people”, the sock puppets. They are running around causing mayhem so current and former spooks and soldiers and the politicians they contribute to can continue stealing all those tax dollars while simultaneously making certain that people in their newfound tax bracket and above don’t have to pay for it.

Who knows where they will strike next?

But even that isn’t as scary as what they can do to you… Make you do to someone else.

And ’tis the season for the sensational. And zombies are all the craze. So here goes.

It starts with animals, preferably our close cousins. It ends with bedtime for Bonzo, naturally, and a few off-color jokes about shooting monkeys, because some people, y’know, they don’t need no stinkin’ Constitution.

Then it “spreads” to human subjects. Rumor has it there are at least eight cases. The inevitable cover-up blames so-called bath salts, but science doesn’t lie when the tests come up negative. Then they move to marijuana, and though I am not an advocate, also reject Reefer Madness as being anything but propaganda. Eat all of your Cheetos? Yes. Eat your face? Not likely.

No. That’s someone continuing the old Ewan Cameron/Sydney Gottlieb (you can think of them as the Doctors Frankstein) of trying to answer that question, “What does this button do?” (The real reason is of course that it’s fun and has the implicit approval of all involved).

So it goes on. Faces were chewed. Couple it with all sorts of other doomsday scenarios (see the Fauxpoclaypse tag for more, some portion of which I grant you is probably fancy and yet on someone’s wish list) and, hell, you could probably turn most people Mormon.

And They’ll be willing to allow you to round up anyone and everyone you don’t like, just to make the fear go away. It’s like torture that way, easy to make people do what you want. Path of least resistance is always give in to the bullies. Just ask anyone, because pretty much everyone has and will continue to do so. That’s not even behavioral modification, that’s just human nature. “If I kiss their asses hard enough, they’ll let me and mine alone.” After all, if God had intended for us to get along, he’d have come down and said so. He’s clearly too busy hiding in an undisclosed location.

I’d like to say that the idea of using neuroscience to mimic the old zombie stuff was my idea, but of course this is covered in Neuropath, though Bakker included the use of wires to make it so. He can be forgiven, I suppose, for not realizing that all that’s needed is the electronics and drugs to make it work. And, of course, even the legends have some basis in fact. And that means the ghouls must find out if it’s possible.

All that talk about implants people do… Not necessary. We were born with the only implant required. Just add wireless data of sufficient strength and accuracy to overcome the low-level internal stuff, add some chemicals to throw off the logic circuits, and you’ve got instant flesh-eating cannibals.

Face it. You are the zombie. You’ve always been the real target anyway:

This concept of guerilla warfare as a political war turns Psychological Operations into the factor that determines the results. The target, then, are the minds of the population, the entire population: Our troops, the enemy troops, and the civil population.

–CIA Guerrilla Warfare Manual

Bon apetit!


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