For Wont of a Better Metaphor

“What’s puzzling you, is the nature of my game.”

“You live your life like a canary in a coal mine.”

Peeling an onion.

(Author’s note: What follows is largely an example of what you have to go through, what the world of people going through organized stalking, refer to as churning. It’s trying to make sense out of what seems on its face to be senseless. Some of it is really “out there.” I am posting it anyway, because what happened tonight was not so much disturbing as an “enough already” moment. This is happening due to government and corporations. Period. The rest, the specifics, are just details. What follows are, without leaving much out, even the seemingly outlandish, possible details. And where they wind up.)

Let’s review. I don’t like (and all parties concerned know this) discussing work. For one, my employer would not appreciate it, I’m sure. Our clients even less so.

But as these juvenile cloak-and-dagger shenanigans require documenting, I’m going to discuss it anyway.

As previously noted, I am a stone’s throw from a federal facility or two or three at work. This goes for both sites I work at.

Due to the holidays, I’m at a particular one. It’s a large factory facility. They use natural gas for heat.

Walking through an area of the plant last night, I first noticed a smell. It was odd. A bit like the gases that they mix with natural gas (it is actually odorless, so they mix it in order for humans to notice it) but different.

Then, as I got closer to what would be the source, my eyes started burning.

I knew that there had been workers there earlier, who had worked on the boiler. Likely, they used torches. The burning was not unlike what I recall from being too near that kind of activity back in NYC.

I assumed the smell was just the machinery that had been in use and the burning sensation simply smoke that was dissipating.

An hour later I made the same walk and both were stronger. It was the fact that the smell wasn’t quite right that threw me off. I opened a door to the outside near the source of the smell and, viola!, it was natural gas. The smell had been so strong I couldn’t recognize it until I diluted it a bit, mixed it with air without the gas to bring it to the odor I was accustomed to. I could also almost feel it whizz by me out the door, it was so thick.

So, called the client and my superior, as per procedures. Took maintenance over an hour to arrive. Supervisor didn’t answer his phone.

Maintenance shut down a heating unit that was blowing gas instead of heat, apparently.

And later I found a second unit likely in the same condition. I expect there was an interruption in gas during the other work, and that resulted in the “pilot lights” going out in these two units. They were blowing gas instead of heat.

Now, the background out of the way, let’s discuss the “onion,” despite the fact that the burning sensation from the gas did not bring actual tears. 😉

Outermost layer / Layer 1 – This is simply the sort of thing that happens every day and there is no other reason.

So ridiculous from a purely statistical standpoint that I can’t even address it. Tonight’s events, by the way, are documented, confirmable.

Layer 2 – It was an attempted “hit.”

TwenCen way of doing things, that is prior to mind control techniques like voice-to-skull subliminals, would entail hiring a hitman or paying some worker to leave the units that way. Possibility even that I am not the target but rather there is insurance fraud afoot (see again statistical anomalies).

Now, of course, just like the Squidgate juror both burned herself and caught the house on fire, both entirely unintentional or, depending on how you define it, at least unconscious in terms of intent (recall again that she did not know I had been blogging about the Conway fire), that the workers unintentionally / unconsciously did something that left it in such a state due to V2K or other subliminal suggestion.

But it was rather ineffective as a hit, wasn’t it?

Layer 3 – A “hit”? Ridiculous! Intimidation.

An ineffective hit if it were one, obviously. I neither died in an explosion (as of yet, I’m actually writing most this while still on shift), nor passed out and died as a result of gas poisoning.

Ergo, it is an intimidation attempt. The message: STFU.

Layer 4 – Intimidation Attempt? Bulls***! Drive you to suicide.

First, by now they surely know I cannot be, at least not so easily, intimidated. I have had the s*** scared out of me so many times, that it seems a feeble attempt really. Besides, they have made my life so miserable, that the idea of dying is not so frightening. But there is a world of difference between not being afraid to die and being suicidal, provided you keep your balance, do not allow these psychotic sixth graders to control you emotionally.

Further, as I have already said, we are at war. It is here, it is happening. The calculation is simple: my being dead may save a few lives in the short run but cost a lot more in the long run. So, that reason doesn’t quite work, does it?

And then I cannot STFU because of the remote torture. Ergo, this is to put me between a rock and a hard place. Why?

(And a side note regarding the torture. Keep it up and turn me into a full blown sociopath and all you’ll have is a more driven blogger, someone who will continue what he has already been doing. It will not turn me into a killing machine unless you have considered the keyboard as successor to the pen versus the sword. It’s mightier.)

Layer 5 – Simply to undermine credibility.

I suppose it’s possible. Seems an odd way to go about it, but there is the whole, “Why would they go to the trouble?” question. I have, like Johnny Mnemonic, told all there is to tell. What the f*** else do you want? There is no longer really a reason to want me dead, is there? It’s out. Secret is out. It’s done. Over. The mind control party is already ruined. Best be thinking about how to position oneself instead of revenge.

And really the undermining thing is ineffective because I’ve pointed out time after time that this is one probable goal, to undermine a witness. So, the more you do it, the more it at the same time looks like guilt. Like the Mollath Affair. So obvious, has so much historical precedent, it’s pointless.

Layer 6 – To drive you crazy.

Okay. I guess. Kinda been there and done that, though, yeah? I am not going to bite off on aliens, magic, etc. when I’ve already found so many rational explanations as to how these tricks are done, so… don’t see the point.

To get me to acquiesce and become religious? Don’t see that point either, nor how it could possibly be your business. Just a “bow, yield, kneel” kind of crazy? Too pissed off.

It would take a miracle in any case, and ill-timed phone calls don’t even come close. (If I remember, I’ll re-explain that in the next post. Related to drunken karate dude two posts down and some other things).

Layer 7 – Provoke violence.

And at last we arrive where it really sits. At least I think so.

They are, as I pointed out in that recent short story, attempting to control the arena. Attempting to remove any and all recourse that doesn’t provide them with an excuse to slap me into a cell, where…

They will of course make my life so miserable that what has already passed will seem like a cake walk. Torture, hands on, for real. Force any sort of lie out of me in order to implicate other people who are likewise innocent. Give them, as they have done with the people at Gitmo, excuses for more excesses of power, more treasonous betrayal to non-state multinational sponsors of terrorism.

And then there is the possibility of Layer 8 (linking back to 7) – Not general violence, but rather something specific. If they really wanted you dead, you’d be dead. Right?

Which, like the dwarf in that one Star Trek (original series) with the Greek theme and people with the mind control from simply eating the local fruit, I am thrust back and forth (well, sort of) between being angry at the neocons for doing this to me and at the Democrats for allowing it.

There is that funny scene in that episode where Kirk finally gets the power to do this himself once McCoy realizes it is not genetic but rather the effects of some chemical in the local food and water (a great Shatner moment with the triumphant response to “Who did that?” of “I did!”).

And so, being paranoid, sitting above it all, and thinking in a two-dimensional, TwenCen way, whoever among the Dems want to set me off on a violent rampage against whichever (obvious, isn’t it?) neocon would likely be most responsible. Who cares? This guy is done for anyway.

Similarly, the neocons (and, sorry to say because I had hoped for a better response but this is not it, the GOP at large) want to direct my ire in the other direction, at whichever Dem would be most responsible (also obvious).

First, I cannot help thinking that either A:

These people have on both sides have been seriously misinformed as to who I am. I am not Jason Bourne. I am at best, Jason Bourne’s bulletproof vest (figuratively). As I have said, I believe my ultimate function was to simply be a lightning rod, a patsy, a scapegoat, should the presence of whatever (most likely advanced NSA surveillance tech) be noticed. That is, if the NY VP of Deutsche Bank found out that CIA, FBI, whoever had copies of his emails in the 90s, rather than reveal they had gotten them in some other manner, I would be framed for it. (Tell me that what you have read here doesn’t already seem that way).

Or B:

The Bush administration laid a trap for the Obama administration, they stepped right in it (letting their imaginations run away into Jason Bourne fantasy land) and, being what at heart power always is, bullies, refuse to admit it, to make amends, and instead insist on coverup and my slow, slow demise. Can you imagine the stress all of this has put on me? Years taken off my life regardless how it turns out, even if it all stopped tomorrow. Therefore this is a “forced march” from two directions. I’ll say it again: told them this was possible and have not seen hide nor hair of investigators to get any useful answers out of me that I might have missed here. Explain it some other f***ing way that doesn’t involved aliens or the Illuminati. You can’t.

Or CIA’s revenge on Cheney for Plamegate. Being their “sacrificial queen” I hope makes quite clear why I am (apart from the sins of their past and present) am so angry with them. I never wanted to have to do any of this. Well, I’ll save that for another layer.

Simply put, I don’t have the skill necessary.

Reason two, I don’t think it would help. If there is a really, really, Big Fish, he’s going to require some serous firepower, I expect, to take out. I concentrate on the US corruption because I am an American. Similar things are happening in other countries. Clearly, there is an international thread to this all, but writing to, for example, the German government (or the largely toothless UN) doesn’t get me much does it? He’s an international fellow, if there is such a “devil.” I value my skin more than one less asshole in the world, especially when I know there are so many likely to take his place and perhaps be even worse.

I would be wasting my time.

Next reason, I just don’t want to. I would, I assure you, pull the lever, flip the switch, lock the gate, whatever, if treasonous high criminals (such as the real perpetrators of 9/11) were found guilty and lawfully given any such sentences. * And I would likely enjoy it. If I lost sleep, it would likely be over all the partying after.

But that may be the torture and harassment talking. I am pissed, make no mistake. But I’m also not a fool.

But I will not engage in assassination. I just won’t. I am so sick of cloak and dagger I could vomit up microfilm and s*** out decoder rings. Stupidest occupation ever devised by man. And this is the stupidest, most banal, asinine conflict ever, especially the way it is being handled. Proxies…

I won’t pick up a gun because of harassment and torture. Just won’t. The US is going to behave like a country of laws again. Grabbing a gun seems a foolish way to accomplish that goal.

Next, I just don’t care that much. I do and I don’t. Kinda Zen, no? I know they could kill anyone. When that’s the case, you recognize it, it loses its power over you. Especially in combination with remote torture. Not an effective threat. This means anyone could die at any time. Got it. Now what? What would it change if they did? War. You have to expect casualties.

As amusing as it was thinking that the neocons thought I was a super assassin (and how I thought maybe for a while, given the harassment it might be in my best interests to give some people pause over getting too close), it just isn’t so. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

So that’s it. Best solution, expose it all so that the American people can either grab their guns and start rampaging (which I don’t believe they will do given the facts and without the use of V2K and those other methods) or demand that the adults act like adults and settle this some other more sensible way. ** Or accept it and move on. They might. They just might. A lot of people just don’t care. Martial law, you could call it. Couch it some way so it doesn’t sound so much like mutiny.

Layer 9 – Some idiots in this equation are actually trying to recruit me. Clearly not in the traditional paycheck sense, but drive insane, fake a death, and use somewhere as a nameless, sociopathic operative. You know, La Femme Nikita style in order to not waste what they may perceive as talent and at the same time preserve the truth about mind control. Possible, I suppose.

But no way in Hell. As I have said: sick of all of you well beyond your ken. Not if you were the last “employers” in the world.

NSA and their chalk and sunglasses? Or Le Circle or whatever it’s called. (A likely fictional world intelligence organization, not unlike what you would expect the Illuminati to utilize if it existed). But there I go talking about the Big Fish again (maybe).

No way. Worst spy in history. Biggest mouth, voted least likely to pick up a gun (which I definitely think is useless, or less than useless, in our current predicament).

Which of course leads to 10:

Layer 10 – They are all insane.

Not mutually exclusive with any of the other layers really. One could make a good case for it. That rogue FBI agent who said it, Russian double agent or not, was on to something.

Cheney, back in the day, didn’t seem to be insane. I cannot recall who, but one of his long acquaintances said that he was a different man back when in Congress as opposed to the years as VP.

Likewise, Obama seemed sane when he took office. I believe he was usually sincere, had no intentions of having many things go where they did. I don’t recall exactly when the change there took place. Maybe it was more of a process than an event. I’ve tried to explain it with the coup thing plus coverup, but some questions linger. Some of the stuff that’s come out of that office more recently is odd to say the least.

We could all agree to say it’s fluctuations in the Earth’s magnetic field. Affected us all. Whew! That was close. Science saved the day. We should be fine now that it’s stabilized.

A pretty lie that pardons everyone. Why not? What’s happening now is already very crazy.

Provided it were accompanied by an end to this proxy war and some form of amends, who knows?, I might actually STFU.

But I think for these purposes, layer 7 or 8 is where it’s at.

Layer X (Not really a layer so much as a side note) – When titans clash, the little guy gets trampled.

If this is a war between Obama and Cheney, then there are in my estimation better ways to handle it. What am I missing? If all of tomorrow’s papers at once said on the front page: “JOINT CHIEFS OVERTHREW GOVERNMENT” (or similar), what would, what could, the repercussions be? It’d be out in the open. Ok, we have new management, let’s move on. This is how it is. Sooner or later it must come out anyway. You’d have to be insane to think otherwise.

Basically, it’s the proxy thing again. The reason it is waged this way, this war, is because it can be. The revelation that this is the case might force those who are ultimately waging it to put some skin in the game.

And then you would see peace.

* In any case, this is pure fantasy. The neocons are already past the necessary point of being called murderers because they are mass murderers. And mass murderers who go beyond the believable, the conceivable, with one exceedingly bloody exception in mid 20th century history which some people still deny, always get off the hook with house arrest at worst. Pinochet and others. You know that’s actually as bad as it will get.

Imagine taking all that pressure off and just fishing. Wouldn’t that be better than the sleepless nights of waiting for the assassin who never comes? Like someone in the witness protection program? It’s lonely and pointless. It’s not living.

And, since I’ve experienced it myself, Dick… How do you know your thinking is your own? How do you know you were not also drugged surreptitiously, that this extreme paranoia is the result of that, something that was done to you over Plamegate? Or over 9/11. (Which some of those hypocrites were involved in as well. Hi, Buzzy).

Or maybe it’s not them at all. Maybe it’s the “Big Fish.”

Can you hear me now? This has already, long before this, gotten out of hand. Is this how you want to be remembered?

I don’t agree with what you did, but continuity means you’ll never really be punished for it. Not even Scooter was and he, like many of the others, were really low-hanging fruit.

Here’s another Star Trek scenario, which I borrowed for Learning to Fly. Crazy crew member takes over ship, barricades himself in the engine room. Ship will be destroyed unless they can get crew member to see reason or break in and subdue him.

Similar to a military coup, isn’t it?

Save Our Ship.

End this. Now. If America fails, so, ultimately, do you. We need to neutralize non-state enemies. How can we when we are all acting like enemies-domestic? Squabbling amongst ourselves? We have bigger problems. Let someone else deal with it or at least get on board. It’s time to move on. Divided we fall. Surely that is one thing we can agree on. Or are you in league with our Big Fish. Our “Devil”?

“My God, what have I done?”
—Alec Guinness at the end of the film The Bridge on the River Kwai.

If it were up to me, which it isn’t, I suppose I would say, “Last chance.”

(Hell, I don’t know. Worth a shot, right?).

** You know, just go back to lying about taxes and health insurance killing industry, debate, all that boring stuff that we didn’t really pay attention to anyway most of us. Won’t much matter if there is no income, will it, due to getting our asses handed to us by non-state monstrosities that wield more power than any traditional terrorist group.

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