No Wonder

As I noted here previously, likely more than once, in early January of 2010 my now ex-partner came home from work at intel subcontractor Google and collapsed. He stated that it was a panic attack but the symptoms were closer to extreme exhaustion. I consulted with a trusted friend via text message and decided not to call 9-1-1. (The evidence of this conversation disappearing in March 2010 when that phone was pickpocketed).

He had mumbled (barely able to speak) that he wanted me to go out. I took that as a sign of suicidal thoughts. As I noted before, he came out of most of it via some endorphin, etc. inducing actions.

This past week or so I’ve been having similar feelings. At first I thought it was normal creeping in. It would be expected to be depressed after all after losing so much, after all the efforts to get the harassment to end to no avail, etc.

But that wasn’t it. Silly me. No.

It’s just another attempt at clean-up, at cover-up.

If you haven’t kept up with what’s going on with the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, there’s been a hunger strike. You may also recall that both the US Navy and CIA dosed prisoners with mefloquine, an anti-malarial drug known to cause schizophrenia-like symptoms.

Now one of the attorneys attempting to provide legal aid to the prisoners there was found dead from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound.

You may also recall that I said that, within days of each other, they caused the suicides of five young gay men and then told me via V2K that they did so merely to attempt to get me to do likewise (actually an attempt to radicalize and “weaponize” me; they likely had other goals unknown, unrelated to me.)

And then there’s Aaron Swartz.

I also noted that even as of 1984 that causing depression via subliminal messages worked according to testimony in 1984 House hearings on subliminal communication technology. You can think of it as the opposite of MK/Ultra memo item 11 regarding euphoria.

I can completely see why, not understanding that these feelings have an external cause, that some people might succumb to them.

As for me, well, try, try, again s***birds.


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