Dear Muslims

We, the United States of America, have a bone to pick with you. Why can’t you see that we’re the good guys? We’ve been trying so hard to get your attention and make sure that you understand this, but you keep ignoring it.

We try to get your attention at weddings, funerals, cafes, etc. but for some reason you just don’t see how altruistic and benevolent we are.

image

We come to your countries to free you but for some reason you don’t see how we’ve got a long history of helping you.

image
(Afghanistan, same location: top 1970s, bottom today)

Whether it’s your freedom of religion…

wired.com/dangerroom/2011/09/fbi-muslims-radical/2/

Or freedom of expression…

library.thinkquest.org/C0111500/proptech.htm

Or freedom of self-determination…

image

We’re intimately invovled.

mccoyote.wordpress.com/coint/

We’ve tried other methods as well but we just can’t seem to get through to you. Can’t you see how much we love you with our every act?

rawstory.com/rs/2009/11/04/ambassador-cia-people-tortured/

So much so that once we have you, we really don’t want to let you go.

politico.com/blogs/under-the-radar/2012/09/us-names-gitmo-prisoners-cleared-to-go-136305.html

And when I do, you aren’t “half the man [you] used to be”…

rt.com/news/cia-penny-lane-gitmo-314/

Please start reading the Washington Post

accuracy.org/release/cia-cloud-over-jeff-bezoss-washington-post/

and watch FOX News. They both will explain how great we are so that you can understand it: we’re the good guys. Are you going to believe us or your lying eyes, ears, and loss of limbs?

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1 Comment

  1. Brilliant. Very funny.


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