Why I Can’t Let It Go

“Had a bad night and I hate the f—ing Eagles, man.”

Exactly the kind of thing I should ignore and not blog about. But I will anyway.

First, take a gander at the new Mind-Affecting Weapons tab up top. Sources are the US government, two scientist organizations, two respected defense industry news sources {though I would love to see scans of the originals}, a corporation’s own marketing department info via two sci-tech outlets, a deposed Honduran president, and generally not your average disinfo websites. Ignore this trend at your peril.

I say this in prep for what follows. It is nearly impossible to explain what it’s like to be under assault from some of these devices. I’ve noted the drop-a-brick-on-your-foot and then, while the pain lasts, try doing Algebra before. In addition to that, I described on Twitter just a few days ago that it’s like trying to drive with a loud, obnoxious backseat driver who doesn’t know nor care where you actually want to go and occasionally even grabs the wheel.

Yes. It is.

Is there any indication that the UCSB shootings are related to NKINTRA? None directly that I see. The man had issues. Issues I would add are exactly the kind of thing our unscrupulous spook collective would attempt to exploit. I’m not defending what the guy did. I’m suggesting the possibility of but-for: but for IC interference in his life, he might not have used a gun. He actually sounds a lot like many other misogynists you run across on the Internet. That we focus on that as reason, combined with whatever emotional and psychological reasons, only makes it look more like an attention grabbing covert stunt.

One FOX News man suggests it’s because the guy was gay. As I’ve noted before, that’s likewise along the lines of attempting to control the narrative, to sway the dialog away from the anti-woman hate coming from the extreme Right. It is also again right up the alley of fascists, and the US has a 70 year love relationship with nazis. See “Das Reichsturm Perfekt” post below for The Nation article on it and-for all that is holy-learn the history of PAPERCLIP and MKULTRA.

But that doesn’t prove it, does it? No, could just be opportunism on the part of our rightwing spin machine.

If you cannot understand that there are people who would do what I am suggesting, and that some of them may find themselves in the employ of defense, intelligence, etc. then I strongly suggest that you aren’t paying attention. Besides the obvious torture, and the less obvious torture, there’s again the drugging with mefloquine, the use of phony polio vaccines–resulting in possible outbreaks–and my favorite: what must actually be brainwashing going on at Gitmo:

Salon, “Gitmo’s ‘Penny Lane’ Turned Prisoners Into CIA Double Agents,” Emma Roller, 26 November 2013:


Click damn near anything. How about John Marks’ book or the official US government document on Soviet/Chinese brainwashing?

Now, the ‘hatrack.’ That is, how they exploit already held beliefs and attitudes in order to achieve a particular outcome: what they hang their hat on.

As should be kind of common knowledge, a person cannot be hypnotized into doing something they would not normally do. For the most part, this is correct.

But what if you, as noted in the appendix of the 1977 Senate hearings on MKULTRA, use drugs to affect judgment?

6. Materials which will render the induction of hypnosis easier or otherwise enhance its usefulness.

What if, in addition to that, you.cause sleep deprivation via any number of ways?

What if you alter a person’s entire perception of the world, make them come to believe that they are in an interminable living hell?

Now you have altered who they are and therefore what they might be willing to do. Suddenly what seemed deplorable before is now more feasible.

The target is in pain, no one understands why, and they become further isolated and alienated. This continues for an extended period of time, and perception becomes that this is a permanent state.

You lose all hope.

Now let’s take a look at how they tried to hang their hat on my non-violence stance. They convinced me, via these very same methods and some form of tech such as those listed on the link up top, that self-immolation was the best course of action. Really worked for a time.

But I spent much of the next ten days talking myself out of it. If it had simply been my idea, why bother? Among the reasons thrown at me, it might get attention to this issue of brainhacking, no one else would be harmed, and the hellishness would be at an end. If that was all “me,” why fight it? Plus, maybe ‘Janus’ or someone else will show up and stop you. Diabolical touch exploiting my sappy nature.

Well it wasn’t me. Promise you that’s the case. The whole barrage of ideas ended with, “There will be worse days than this.” And that day was pretty godawful.

Why talk yourself out of something that you came up with and wanted to do?

I don’t expect this is persuasive. And I don’t expect that this is going to help, but here it is:


This was later followed by a song stuck in my head that I don’t especially care for even under normal circumstances:

Somebody’s gonna hurt someone
before the night is through
Somebody’s gonna come undone.
There’s nothin’ we can do.

So, for me it’s not about guessing or pattern matching in the UCSB case. It’s about having been told beforehand without any helpful details about where or when.

These are sick individuals. Sicker than Rodger.



  1. That’s one of those long term nagging post-gaslighting problems: the internal arguments as you try to figure out what was put in your head versus what was already there. But, really, considering the structure in which we have grown, how can you even be sure that “what was already there” wasn’t something that got in there by dishonesty as well? It’s like trying to dig for the truth when the only tools you have available are preconstructed lies.

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