BBD – The Quick Note

Would you–if you were the target of a corrupt, powerful agency that funds itself by importing, manufacturing, and selling illegal drugs into its own country, that openly had assassinated American citizens, had tortured–reveal when they succeed in getting to you? Would you be that stupid? Or ballsy?

Well, I’m just sick enough of Groundhog Day to do just that.

Let me back up a bit. Due to the extreme harassment I received beginning in December of 2009–the goal of which as I’ve pointed out time and again including my Reddit IAMA–was to make me go postal: That is, to do something violent over which they could further justify more harsh measures, increase their “market share” of terror suspects to include LGBTQetc, and remove me, a witness to illegal activities, from the playing board all at the same time.

Due to that harassment, I never really–after all these years–had the time and luxury of processing the end of my 14.5 year long term relationship. I am assuming the incessant dreams, going on since June or July or so, are a message for me to acknowledge this fact. I don’t know or understand why. I’m just doing it in the hopes that they stop.

More probably the Langley Shit Dragon will instead redouble them. This is because it’s made of shit and run by shitty small-hearted psychos who only care about pampering people like their contractors Erik Prince and Jeff Bezos. They’re everything they’ve ever called any enemy and then some. They’ve interfered in US elections and it doesn’t even get mentioned in MSM. They’ve, again, assassinated American citizens–not really a secret, just not discussed–and doesn’t warrant a mention. It’s not just destroying and undermining democracies worldwide, CIA does it at home as well with FBI’s help.

But I seem to have gotten off-topic.

Right. Never married. We could have I suppose. Had friends who went out of state to do that. Why didn’t we? Well, I’m reasonably certain that this whole thing was planned quite a ways in advance. Too many old psychological landmines exploding all over. I had a friend who seemed to go bonkers and run off; he had a friend at UIUC who did that same. Despite being–in between just being dazzled, drugged and confused–aware of the old friend’s situation, there was nothing I could do to stop the same happening to me. Not a single damn thing. It like these was a constant, overwhelming army of spooks out there making sure it all went sideways.

And so it’s only now, the distraction of constant wariness due to this or that crisis coming and going or just coming and lingering for weeks on end, a lull in this ill-advised, self-defeating and ultimately pointless and fruitless–for both CIA and myself!–“war” that I have the time, the luxury of time, to consider the only thing I lost that really mattered to me; the only relationship in my life that ever really worked.

And how I’m the one who brought him to NYC where he went from job to job to wind up at Google. Google is, and from what I can now tell, always was, a surveillance project that combined itself with advertising. Get the consumer to pay for his own surveillance, not unlike getting Americans to pay for illegal CIA ops by purchasing illicit drugs from CIA, mostly unwitting, assets.

And, jumping back to the personal, of course that leads you back to…what am I calling him now? Mr. Crutch might be the most appropriate. The one who got me over the hump that is the real point of this post assuming there actually is one.

Well. There it is then.

BBD – Operational

Come a little bit closer…

Come a little bit closer…

Ran across the article below the other day. And, in typical fashion, it took me five days to connect the dots. See, despite everything I’ve seen and experienced, I still react initially much the way everyone else does: “Just one of those things.”

1988 – 1990

This is not just one of those things. This is another puzzle piece regarding what’s really going on and why they used us as guinea pigs at the NJSF back in the late 1980s. As I’ve noted several times and places, I was there in 1989 and 1990. The previous year, one actress had kind of gone crazy and spent a lot of time, money, energy attempting to figure out what was wrong. Both years I was there another actress each year likewise had problems.


Gene Maddaus, “Former ‘ER’ Actress Vanessa Marquez Shot and Killed by Police,” Variety, 31 August 2018:

Last October, Marquez alleged that she was blacklisted from “ER” by co-star George Clooney after complaining of racial discrimination and sexual harassment.

“Clooney helped blacklist me when I spoke up abt harassment on ER.’women who dont play the game lose career’I did,” she wrote on Twitter.

Clooney issued a statement at the time saying he had nothing to do with casting on the show.

“I had no idea Vanessa was blacklisted,” he said. “I take her at her word. I was not a writer or a producer or a director on that show. I had nothing to do with casting. I was an actor and only an actor. If she was told I was involved in any decision about her career then she was lied to. The fact that I couldn’t affect her career is only surpassed by the fact that I wouldn’t.”

It’s really not difficult, even when you’ve been through what someone like me has, to see that someone who tried to help impoverished Africans at a time when the likes of CIA and Booz Allen Hamilton were ass-deep in stirring up trouble all over the continent for future military misadventures would be a target of smear campaigns run by the likes of CIA, FBI counter-intelligence, and/or the black bag departments of both major political parties {yes, I said both despite his support of Obama and Clinton}.

Anyway, there it is. Who do you contact when there’s a standing agreement between CIA and DoJ to not prosecute? When both major political parties run black ops on each other and the public with such regularity that it’s become normal? When FBI believes it is its job to “protect” America from free thought and anti war protest? * And that all those lines, plus private contractors acting as intelligence agencies for anyone who can pay them, are blurred.

* When it comes to the latter, FBI once had an internal handout flier lumping unions and environmental activist groups and Nazi and white supremacy groups together as similar threats. I don’t think that mentality has changed at all over there, unless it’s that the Nazis are okay.

Where It’s All Going

I think I finally “get” Obama. Not the easiest thing to do, having been under intense harassment while he was in office.

The Bin Laden raid video, for example, where he was playing solitaire and not watching. His reactions to various things, including being called a liar while giving a speech and having to apologize for the “God and guns” comment.

Or the throwaway before the Wisconsin 2010 midterm speech about knowing that slavery will end someday. From what I can see, it’s barely getting started and the neoliberals are just as eager to let it take a major place in world society for the next 80 to 100 years as any racist is; they just don’t care what the skin color of the people being enslaved is because it’s about serving Deutsche Bank, Monsanto, Pfizer and Exxon and they aren’t motivated by ideology, just the accumulation of power and the goals of their top stockholders.

See, we really are moving towards a non-ideological future. One where people will no longer be murdered for being of color, the wrong gender, the wrong religious beliefs, etc.

Instead, people will be murdered en masse for being in the way of something that a multinational corporation wants. Already happening, just not here on the scale that can break through the CNN and Fox News bullshit.

Or for being anywhere near someone else who is stepping out of line via drone. Or for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Outbreaks of contagious disease will be dealt with via drone.

The idea is leadership will be non-violent because it doesn’t want to watch how the sausage is made; make is so, but don’t tell me what you had to do to get there; fix the world, forget how the fixing was done. It’s not liberal; it’s hypercapitalist. They call it utilitarian, but it’s really just another deal with the devil resulting in the same oppressive totalitarian crap under different rules of encrushment.

That’s what the entire Trump debacle is about. Well, that and pretending the rest of the government, the “DC insiders” aren’t just as corrupt, greedy, callous, and warmongering. They are, they just have the good sense to lie about it and play the game where they pretend to serve the people while serving themselves to a share of the money they hand over to 0.001%.

We literally do have an intelligence community actively undermining democracy and we are thanking it because it uses the right buzzwords to tickle our brain and presents a Hollywood story of opposing Trump & Co’s disgusting life style, taste and attitudes. The choices we’ve been given, meaning which side to support, not a real choice about how to be governed and by whom, are all bleak.

The end of the nation state. Will you really miss them anyway? The excesses, the war crimes, the lies, most likely we won’t. But the idea that something because it’s newer it must therefore be better is a mistake. A roomful of people whose only concern is whether or not they got more today doesn’t much sound like an improvement.

World peace through corporate supremacy, “fairness” based on arbitrary murder. This is our future and there is no way to avoid it. The 20th century, including WWI and II, and the Holocaust, is going to look like patty cake compared to the 21st.

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