Still More Wicked Game Updating

This time I added what happened at the 2008 Halloween party and how the host is under future blackmail should he ever decide to run for office plus a few other changes. A sad chapter title, but he definitely owns it.

Still requires some updating regarding what and how things were done. We, the outsiders, can only guess. Often there are more mundane and elegant ways to provide effects that seem like magic or high-tech, but are actually simple and ingenious.

You’re stuck with me, alas, because people in this part of the shadow sector don’t blow the whistle. Tels sont les psychopathes.

MKULTRA Subproject List FOIA Updates

Especially given the recent Facebook hullabaloo *, it seems ever so timely to go through the available Freedom of Information Act releases with regards to MKULTRA and its subprojects. It is still a work in progress. In some cases, I found John Marks had more info that seemed to be available in the FOIA. In others, I found the text files CIA provided had more info. In others, the text file was nearly devoid of helpfulness and the meat was found among the documents themselves. The result is a mix of the three methods.

As you’ll see from the list, there are still several UKNOWN subprojects. We have mostly invoices and some proposals available. There are also a list of companies that I am not at all clear on their collaboration. The B&O Railroad, American Airlines, Greyhound, and J.P. Morgan, to name some. Also, lots and lots of drugs.

I’m going to hazard a guess that #18 was for a “Q-branch” style facility that got built by or under something else. Possibly with or by the Army. See 50, below.

Of particular interest, besides the aforeblogged voting decisions study under subproject 127, there are:

48: Study of Communist Police State psychology and sociology, undoubtedly so they could figure out how to import it.

50: Something that they tried to get around the Agency’s project justification process. “Just give me $500. Do not ask why.” MKNAOMI is why. Change order to the facility under 18?

54: Brain concussion as related to interrogation. “Possible to interrogate someone and they not even remember it? Let’s find out.” WHAM! “What was this subproject’s purpose again?”

Forget the threequel.

56: Alcohol consumption, absorption, at Universities. IOW, Spring Break.

57: LSD, insomnia, and you.

94: Remote direction control of living organisms.

96: Decision making.

98: Mass conversion study. Hello political upheaval.

107: Appears to be inserting individuals and cash into the WPA APA, where CIA’s Cameron was first president. Is this the MOCKINGBIRD effort in the psychiatry circles instead of journalism/media?

108: Ecological factors in natural groups. Guessing this is “Native North American” directed among other groups. You knew there had to be at least one study f—ing with those folks.

109: My favorite. How to turn an adult into a psychological adolescent or child psychopharmacologically. Adult libido, child thinking. Scott Ritter? Matt deHart? Two former fellow NJSF interns? Anthony Weiner? Others?

110: Pathogens and how to give them to people. Let me just open this…


* The New American, “Did Pentagon Help Fund Facebook’s Mood Manipulating Experiment?,” Joe Wolverton, II J.D., 2 July 2014:

Super-High Frequency

American weapons research has centered on pulsed radiation in the gigahertz frequency band for a very interesting reason. In 1972, the Department of the Army researched Soviet and other foreign literature sources and discovered over 500 studies devoted to the biological effects of SHF – super-high frequency electromagnetic oscillations. (1)

SHF may have potential use as a technique for altering human behavior. …Lethal and non-lethal aspects have been shown to exist. In certain non-lethal exposures, definite behavioral changes have occurred. There also appears to be a change in mammals, when exposed to SHF, in sensitivity to sound, light, and olfactory stimuli.

The significance of this intelligence document in terms of the medical experiments commissioned by the Central Intelligence Agency since 1976 is that emphasis in this report is placed on influencing individuals as opposed to groups.

Global Research, “Effects of GHz radiation on the human nervous system: Recent developments in the technology of political control / Analysis on Mind Control Electromagnetic Weapons”, Harlan E. Girard, January 15, 1991/May 6, 2006:

Paper presented by Harlan E. Girard, NATO Advanced Research Workshop on Coherent and Emergent Phenomena in Biomolecular Systems, The University of Arizona, 15 January 1991

“Since 1976” all the way through the 80s. Meaning the Senate MKULTRA hearings were a complete sham as far as protecting Americans from experimentation and abuse was concerned. Also the reason for all the focus on drugs. They knew they were already moving beyond the need.

Also note items 2 and 9 from the MKULTRA 1955 draft memo indicating what kinds of things were on the wishlist:

2. Substances which increase the efficiency of mentation and perception.

9. Physical methods of producing shock and confusion over extended periods of time and capable of surreptitious use.

Increases sensitivity to light, sound (perfect for torture under the guise of simple sleep deprivation techniques–though sleep dep is also considered torture by the UN) and that sudden change in preception, especially when you don’t know the cause, is certainly shocking and confusing.

As SHF does for those symptoms, the Navy’s SANGUINE does for simulating drunkenness.

Lots of other goodies at the link.

License Plate Triggers (Updated)

This is not going to be quite as dramatic as I’d hoped. I was waiting on permission to use another TI’s photo of a license plate to show the similarities in experiences. But as I told that person, I understand why they preferred not to give permission. The meaning of the TI’s photo, however, is similar to mine. Very, very similar.

This is another “get inside the head of a TI” post and is therefore longish.

First, I have to go back to 1990. After the young female intern Kara Miller was targeted by the CIA for harassment, she started writing down graffiti, signs, license plate numbers, and other experiences in composition books. I was shocked when I saw that she had many of them completely filled. She was, she thought, collecting evidence against the actor (T. Ryder Smith) from the New Jersey Shakespeare Festival she thought responsible. As it turned out, he was also a target but had a very different way of coping. I expect he figured out what was going on before the rest of us as well. As I have written here many times, the “rip cord” on the whole NJSF experience was to apparently pit me against him, provoke, I assume, one of us against the other and hope that the result was one dead, one in prison or both dead. A cover-up in order to avoid having their illegal activities looked into again.

So. I was quite aware of the intern’s experiences when I found myself glancing at license plates as well in December of 2009. And graffiti. And puzzling out names as if they were anagrams. Weird state of mind that was. I’m not sure exactly when it ended. I still look occasionally, but I think that’s largely reflex, conditioning.

Also, you’ll have to recall the incident, just about five or six days before the Squidgate sentencing hearing, this was April 2010, when I awoke that morning, reached up to my head, noticed that my hair felt dry and brittle like a corpse’s, and found it falling out in clumps. What I didn’t include in that original accounting was what I was thinking.

This is a prime example of just how illogical my thinking was at the time…at times. My first thought (which simply had to be forced on my by voice-to-skull) was that the loss of my hair meant that there was no way that that dude from the deli visit in January (whom I thought to be a friend or relative of Peter’s) could possibly love me having gone all ‘Balding.’ That was it, it was suicide. No point in continuing without this person over whom I was brainwashed.

Before I could actually start contemplating how I was to do myself in, I recalled a thought I had had weeks previous. They had run me through a nightmare scenario (I suppose playing off of my comic book knowledge, in this case Batman’s enemy Twoface) where the dude from the deli got disfigured by acid. Again, it turns out that this is standard OS stuff, but I didn’t even know OS existed at the time.

I had initially found that scenario horrific of course, but realized that I would love him anyway, even disfigured. So, I further decided that he would–this love was far too intense to not be ‘meant to be’–do the same despite the hair loss. But I bought some stuff after the sentencing heating to try to restore it anyway:


With mixed results. Didn’t need the other NKINTRA harassment to try to make me feel like I was turning werewolf with that stuff. Hair in places I’d never imagined…

Anyway, the point was that on September 1, 2011, a car in front of my apartment peeled out and, of course, I could not miss the license plate. (Check my Facebook feed for that day).

It struck me as a reminder of the acid “threat”. I started wondering, having imagined already he was a grad student, did he work with chemicals? A photographer maybe? (No. As I wrote in the previous post, either a dupe or an operative of some kind).

It was some days later, maybe in October, when the same car was parked again in front of my place, this time engine running, lights on, no one in the driver’s seat, that I managed to snap a photo of the plate:


Now it’s also important to know that I had suspected the dude was 22 when he came into the deli. However, that too was a “guided” thought. That was in fact one of the first times I knew my head was being mucked with externally…the thoughts that ran through, some of them, were not what I would have been thinking under normal circumstances.

And of course, HCL (or HCl) is hydrochloric acid. *

Ergo, keep up the blogging, and we’ll hurt your object of affection. (Of course that is crap, they started this without any blogging at all and were responsible for that brainwashing to begin with).

So, what really happens in a scenario with a car like that?

First, the TI has been drugged (as I’ve said, that could be an actual drug, some kind of pathogen, or an electronic form of brain disturbance) resulting in faulty logic. See memo, item 1.

Next, the license plates are chosen, probably by computer. Do a mix and match from a list of keywords, hot button stuff, triggers. Find a matching car by address proximity. Use voice-to-skull to ensure that the driver of the car and the TI wind up in the same vicinity at the same time.

Then, when the car and TI are near each other, make sure, again via voice-to-skull (I use that generically to refer to the electronic brainhacky thing) that the TI notices the license plate and interprets it the way they want. See the MK-Ultra memo item 6, materials that make hypnotism easier.

Then they hit you with “dread” via EMF or whatever. The license plate may not be as disturbing on its own as it seems. The feeling might be separate and also remotely, electronically induced. Look around at the patents and articles I’ve mentioned here. Emotional manipulation is quite possible electronically.

I pause here again to remind folks that the expense is at the American tax payer’s and that these people do this at least in part because they enjoy it. Not expensive to them and provides pleasure for some really sick f***ers. This comes under “training” and surely we agree that training exists and we know damn well assassins do since there was an (at least) short-lived assassination contract with Blackwater to take out Al Qaeda members.

There is an alternate explanation for noticing license plates, but my limited testing of it suggests what I wrote above. The alternative is that TIs are constantly noticing all license plates all the time and only become conscious of it when it holds some special meaning, serves as a trigger. There may be some connection to “heightened awareness”, I suppose.

However, I never looked consciously at every license plate that passed by. I cannot know for sure what’s going on unconsciously, of course, but let’s recall that this car was in front of my apartment. Twice. Peeled out once, left unattended once.

Second, I tested this at least twice. After seeing a piece of graffiti that I found disturbing one day for whatever reason, I stopped and looked around. I counted something like 19 distinct pieces of graffiti and yet I only stopped and looked at one and it turned out to be the only one that I found disturbing. I did the same with license plates. Made myself look at every one after one that was “scary” and found nothing at all disturbing about the subsequent ones.

Now, that is a very, very complicated path to explaining how one license plate got my adrenaline flowing. Can you see why it’s difficult for a person who has been drugged, harassed, frightened, to calmly explain how they arrived at the conclusion that a license plate holds special meaning for them? Can you see why it is so effective at undermining credibility because it is so personal that only the TI and the psychological warfare folks can understand it? Can you see why TIs in turn get frustrated and depressed? This is also what contributes to the “them” thing. “If people aren’t as concerned as I am about that thing I just saw, well they must be in on it,” says the drugged brain. The psyops team didn’t need to guess what I was thinking because they did the thinking for me. It’s the magic trick again, making the order and causes of events seem other than they are.

Can you see why the intel community is in need of a serious attitude adjustment?

Finically, I have, on this journey, met a few actual schizophrenics, delusional people, people with real mental illness. There is a stark contrast between saying “My mother is Madonna” or “I’m the lead singer of Rammstein and my brain was switched at birth” and…

The Central Intelligence Agency and Department of Defense are covering up illegal activities because Congress failed to slap them hard enough in the 70s and has failed ever since to provide adequate oversight, especially after 9-11 (but clearly prior in at least 1989 and 1990 as well).

That’s it. A psyop explained (and a rather common one since it also applies to graffiti, songs, signs, etc. and further how they destroy relationships).

* I am reminded by voice “Not-Pete” that HCl is actually not that powerful. Sulfuric acid would be more likely employed. First, it’s strange I did not recall that myself seeing how long ago that picture was taken and further proof that there just wasn’t a better license plate in Minneapolis nearby to choose from and that it wasn’t “me” doing the thinking.

SHAMROCK (and Zombie Post Script)


This was the other NSA program, apart from MINARET, that was investigated and revealed in the Church/Tower Senate hearings. It started during WWII and continued until 1975, not shut down until the Senate uncovered it. These two programs are what lead to FISA, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, that required warrants for NSA to do what it had been doing with the help of RCA, ITT, and Western Union. In those days, the record says, these companies were not even compensated for turning over records of telegraphs of TIs.

The partisanship was light during those hearings. There are some exceptions:

I say again, the public’s right to know must be responsibly weighed against the impact of release on the public’s right to be secure.

– Sen. John G. Tower

How did SHAMROCK, MINARET, for that matter MK/ULTRA and the related programs make us more secure?

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither … He who would trade liberty for some temporary security, deserves neither liberty nor security.

– Benjamin Franklin

Then, after 9-11 George W. Bush reinterpreted FISA, or more accurately reinterpreted the law in general, saying that the President had the right to do absolutely anything to protect the country. In other words, the rule of law was suspended and remains so today.

Now, of course, it’s big business with Google, AT&T among many others involved and being paid to do so. And they cannot be sued. Nor apparently can the federal government. In essence, if someone doesn’t like you, you are f***ed without recourse unless you can afford to buy your politicians back.

I think it could be argued that the building of the NSA facility in Utah is itself illegal for the purposes it is being built for. Yet no such debate has taken place in a public forum. It’s just being done. Period.

Refuting the coward’s maxim: “If you haven’t done anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about” is possibly the main point of this blog. You definitely do. These people can take everything away from you in the blink of an eye and it won’t matter where you turn, there is no stopping it. They will, after having done so, remind you constantly that they did so and that you have no recourse. Congress is not doing its job and it is not the Executive’s job to limit its power. Inspectors General are also employees of the executive and, much like the complaints of Senators Tower and Goldwater about even publicly discussing SHAMROCK, the use of technology and advanced bio discoveries puts them in a position of revealing how things are done along with what was done. Undoubtedly, the fascists (really, can there be any other adequate label? This is directly counter to democracy) know and exploit this to good effect.

So they try to present you with two violent options: do harm to someone else (misplaced aggression) or to yourself (eliminating a critic and a witness). The first, obviously, would allow them to post-justify their draconian acts in the first place. The second, obviously removes a witness, allowing them to continue to terrorize other Americans, to burn down homes without seeing any negative repercussions for their acts, to commit acts of assassination not just via drones overseas, but here on this soil with voice-to-skull and other tech and black ops.

It is obvious to me that there will eventually be fallout from these programs. It is also obvious that whatever steps are taken as a result of that will largely be too little and to some degree too late.

In an unrelated story: ‘bath salts’, according to the CIA-News-Network, can cause empathy, euphoria, sensory awareness, and hallucinations in addition to the desire to rip your clothes off and eat others. Clearly not what I was suffering from. Way too long to not have had the other symptoms * (but shows some possible desperation 🙂 ).

* Yeah, heavy material requires some humor injection. I don’t think sucking face qualifies as cannibalism, nor does the repeated “stabbing” of another human with… um… use-your-imagination as a murderous rampage. “Make Love, not the Zombie Apocalypse.” There, I said it.

Trapped (Updated)

(Modified first paragraph and attempted to clarify with a footnote at bottom).

Trapped inside my own head. That was how it felt. It was as though “I” was still in there some place, but the only ways to communicate with the outside world were through jokes, quoting song lyrics or movie lines and history and writing. Though there were certainly some things I was conscious of (the title of the novella Learning to Fly coming from the Pink Floyd song, sure. It’s relationship to what happened in the Minneapolis FBI office prior to 9-11, consciousness of that came later.* Still on another level, flying being equated with sex also but probably after the title was chosen. Finally, that one deceased band member road manager, whose laugh can be heard on a few tracks on the album, was the father of Naomi Watts named Peter… Well, yet another very bizarre coincidence), there were a great many that I was not. Looking back, it’s weird how some of the things I was not at all aware of but said seem to have been true.

References to the short story “Glass”, for example. The short story centers around two groups of human test subjects. One is completely sociopathic while the other is overly empathetic. As I recall (it’s now been years since I read it and that was in the months before Squidgate), all of the test subjects were sociopaths to begin with. SPOILER ALERT: What happens is that one of the empaths becomes afraid that one of the sociopaths is going to harm the doctor overseeing the project. The doctor of course winds up screwing over the empath. The overarching point, I suppose, this is what corporations do. Caring about other people is becoming a liability, remorseless murder a virtue.

That is what our society is becoming or has already become. The utterly unbelievable size and scope of our surveillance, security and war sectors are proof of it. That you cannot even get a sockpuppet arsonist arrested despite the obviousness of the situation (much less the puppetmasters themselves) is proof that the Rule of Law is just effing gone for anyone who isn’t a millionaire, billionaire, begins their name with Sen, Rep, Gen, or Adm, or ends their name in Inc or Corp. Worse, it actually protects criminals (as long as they only rip off the poor and middle class; that was Bernie Madoff’s mistake, he ripped off other rich people).

But back to the point. One of the effects was a bit like having a concussion, I assume. So much nonsense, combined with the drugs (as I wrote previously, there must have been more than one), it was just impossible to find my way back to the truth, much less be able to state it coherently. I was constantly reeling, trying to regain balance. Every day was an emotional roller coaster. Could not catch my psychological breath. (I think that should be enough metaphors to get the idea.)

The multiple drugs. I’m not clear on whether or not the euphoria, the love drug and the frisky drug were all the same. Could be. Feeling like everything is good could lead to thoughts that would under normal circumstances be part of evolutionary desires for procreation.

What was definitely separate was what I think of as removing the gatekeeper between the conscious and unconscious. Probably the same as “heightened awareness.” You notice things that you normally would not. Largely because that is a new experience, it is frightening. The model of a bridge in front of your condo would not normally be considered something to be afraid of. But under the influence of whatever drug (ETX, mefloquine, what-have-you) it suddenly is. Especially when the garbage men keep forgetting to pick it up. In fact the only reason it actually does get half-heartedly thrown into the compactor after two weeks of sitting on the curb, getting a little more and more damaged each day—were they trying to plant the idea of having me blow up the Blue Water Bridge? Sure sounds like something they would try—is because you happen to be on your balcony that morning just as they pull up and they just happen to notice you standing there watching them as they were about to leave it yet again.

Instead of just being conscious of .01% of stimuli you actually see unconsciously, you see .05%. Which means that the gatekeeper is not actually gone per se (one assumes that would cause catatonia or something) but that the “aperture” between consciousness and the rest is open far wider than normal.

(Kind of off-topic quickie I’ve been wanting to throw out there. Anyone know the anecdote about Douglas Adams breaking his leg? He was, I think, in New Zealand or thereabouts, trudging through jungle or similar terrain. He started laughing hysterically just after breaking his leg in a horrible way after slipping in some mud. Why? Mud + plant-name-I-have-forgotten that he was looking at when he slipped was a perfect, letter-for-letter anagram of his name. What does it mean? Something about how the brain is capable of working and that Adams had a very sharp one, I guess. That we are in the Matrix and he saw through it? Don’t think so. While I agree we barely see the world as it actually is, the idea that there is a higher order in charge is denied by the existence of nazis, corporatists, and people who talk in the movie theater).

The normal questions that follow some of my accounts are, “Why didn’t you…” take a picture, video, call the police, etc. Two reasons: drugs and voice-to-skull. Together: brainhacking.

It was one of the owners of the same deli where I saw that non-existent person, where I saw the three men in the white pickup emitting smoke from the truck’s tailpipe on the same day as the Conway’s condo fire, where I last saw the military man with the dog skulking outside Scahill’s, where the local drug dealer/pimp frequently started following me, where the NYPD detective gave me grief for mistakenly thinking me an animal abuser, where my former dog walker said that a friend of hers was a FBI agent and that somehow the justified Squidgate… It was there that one of the owners of the deli gave me grief for carrying my camera. It wasn’t even out, it was in the upper left breast pocket of my parka. Why did he start giving me trouble over carrying it when it wasn’t even visible, not in my hand, not even the original topic of conversation?

Obviously voice-to-skull. He might have thought he had other reasons. Those reasons are bulls***.

It was this incident that stopped me shopping there. I started going to the Egyptian-owned one instead a few blocks away. There was weirdness there as well. Note that stopping shopping there prevented me from asking to review the video footage (once that finally occurred to me) of the day I thought I saw my mysterious visitor.

But they followed up with the whole thing via V2K that somehow I had been “deputized” to help with whatever problem had been the cause of Squidgate. That was why ‘Balding’ and the Army nurse (as I think of her) had shown up at my doctor’s office, it was supposed to be a “spy physical.” Again, that feeling of well-being (too much oxytocin?) meant that hardly anyone had bad intentions. Besides, I thought it was so ridiculous that it must be true.

It was clear that all of that was bulls*** once the prompts to be violent or commit suicide started rolling in. Oh, there was still the belief that it must somehow have all been a mistake (I had done nothing wrong after all and this was Obama’s, not Bush/Cheney’s administration) but it was clear that that other false narrative was just to ensure I got to Port Huron in April in order to inexplicably go postal on Beaudry’s father and two brothers assuming they were the arsonists because it appeared that it had been them in the pickup the same day as the fire. They most likely were not. I don’t even think they were the ones in the truck. That was just another failed psyop.

And so this government still fails to do what it should. I understand full well that greed and corruption are difficult to overcome. If you want to demonstrate just how out of whack Executive power has become, start rounding them up and disallow access to attorneys. I guarantee a lot of squawking followed by sharp improvements in cooperation and the restoration of respectful discourse. There is nothing like being in the same position as The People to suddenly find some empathy for them. Nothing like being humbled to remind the high-mighty-and-corrupt that there still are possible repercussions for their actions.

Because I have no reason whatsoever to think that the next election will result in anything different than ’08 and ’10…and those were, starting in ’09 up to now, the worst years of my life.

Sure, I also understand that there are people worse off than me. That’s a bulls*** argument, though. The same s*** I’m getting smacked with is smacking them. It’s one and the same.

Except I’ve peeked behind the curtain. Grr. Chomp.

So try something new. Do your goddamn jobs…not the sorry excuse you have substituted them for. I mean protect the Constitution as you are sworn to do. For everyone…not just the select few.

* Let me be a little more accurate. I was, on some level, aware that I was being treated like a terrorist. I found (and still do sometimes) the mere notion hysterically funny. It is so far and away from who I am that it’s comi-tragic that it could ever be entertained by any serious member of the law enforcement or intel communities.

However, the actual 9-11 hijackers who were, the FBI was told, learning to take off but ignoring the landing training (a rather clear indication about what was intended) actually occurred in Kansas, as I recall. I had no idea that the Minneapolis office had any connection to it prior to moving there. Or, if perchance I read that somewhere prior to that, I was not the least bit conscious of it. I moved there because my ex said it was a decent place to move for writers, artists, and musicians. “The new Seattle,” he was told at his job. Which was at Google.

Whether or not there was any truth to Minneapolis being that, I never really found out. Between the continued (indeed, intensified) harassment and psyops and the scary-at-the-time fact that one of the writers I connected with suddenly found that her mother was on death’s door with cancer (and they did not have the money to treat her), I stopped going to the SciFi writers meetings.

Of course, the ideas floating in my head were backed up with voice-to-skull, and all of that was just a further attempt to violate my First Amendment rights and to isolate me further from anything approaching what was a normal social life, friends, etc. in the hopes they could still jostle me into violence of some kind.

No. I am only allowed to hang out with people with “issues” like Heath and ‘Gabe’. While I am not attempting to slight the latter in any way (he cannot help who he is, what he suffers from) if you think that’s my f***ing choice to be limited this way, you are out of your mind.

There is no going back to pretending things are normal, to pretending there’s nothing wrong. Just isn’t possible. What they fear is that I would get the opportunity to show that I am not delusional, not suffering from constant hallucinations, and that there is something to what I am saying.

There clearly is. Wake the f*** up.

Post-Something Analysis


So, there were a few items I have not clarified that I want to get to. It seemed easier in writing than in person, so…

First, only one time did I actually send an email in anger at the actual listed recipient. It was the one about waiting for the civil suit.

The others, especially and including the four-parter, were complete bulls***. As I explained in the “You Bury Me” three parter, I was under intense pressure to blame Peter for the whole mess, to state publicly that it had all been a publicity stunt. This was what my torturers wanted.

I resisted. I knew it had to be a lie.

But they had convinced me that it was “over” otherwise and therefore, obviously my soulmate was on his merry way to meet me in that hellhole some people refer to as Minneapolis.

When he did not arrive, well it seemed there had to be a reason. I had clearly (not having done anything to deserve the s*** thrown my way) been maligned. The self-described NYPD detective who had been convinced I was abusing my dogs until he stopped and looked at them, for example. There were many more examples, some I haven’t even detailed yet. For example, I apparently subscribed to a gun email newsletter… I no longer recall actually doing it, but saw the evidence in one of my spam email accounts. I assume I did and that I did so, based on the timing, for research for something I was writing.

However, there was still nothing illegal about that. This is a familiar Gestapo tactic, to try to make a torture victim believe they did something to deserve it. The real purpose is to help the torturer remove any responsibility for their actions, to retcon their abuse, to justify their guilty pleasures after the fact. (This also helps those many politicians who profit off of the private security apparatus to feel better for receiving the money even though they know deep down that they are behaving like totalitarians that they publicly decry).

One day, after almost never having checked that email address, went almost directly to that email in that account without thinking about it at all. There was a clear V2K question in my head from whichever s***head was on duty at that time: “Why did you subscribe to this ammo newsletter?” I didn’t even recall doing it, so how could I have made the question up, turned directly to the folder, page, and email I did not even recall receiving?

This is the kind of thing they do.

Back on topic…

The background is the following:

I had seen my old compadre from the New Jersey Shakespeare Festival enthrall the other interns in ’89 and ’90. He inspired at times an almost fanatical loyalty from them. And it’s not difficult to see why. He is very intelligent and talented, the most imaginative actor I’ve ever worked with. I would say that one of the main reasons that I tolerated (as much as I did) he tricksterlike antics was for those reasons as well (additionally, especially in theater and film, you are going to have to sometimes work with people you don’t get along with).

So that was the background. Charismatic trickster.

When I discovered my old soul sister’s connection to Squidgate (recall now… At this point, December 19, 2009 or so, I am drugged with at least two substances…one causing the confusion/schizo-like symptoms, the other the euphoria/pathological optimism which was insanely out of character for me… I tend toward pessimism like most people who “think too much” as I have often been accused of), I puzzled over that.

The last time I had seen him, things did not end well. I initially thought, “Wouldn’t this be a great way to mend fences?”

Then, as events in Brooklyn and Manhattan got stranger and stranger, more sinister, I started recalling the bad stuff. I don’t (usually) carry grudges. It’s not worth it (most of the time).

But now I suddenly found myself memorizing license plates, noticing graffiti, being afraid of memes (like that bridge that seemed to get more and more smashed every time I saw it, as did a coconut—a memic reference to a Clinton story that Bill related about Chelsea’s souvenir from their trip to Hawaii—HELLO!—at Hillary’s debt forgiveness event that my former partner and I attended—on the path I frequently took my dogs in Brooklyn), etc. just like my female intern friend K*** M***** did in 1989 and 1990.

Next, there were the posts about “swimfins on my back” and mine about the leviathan dream.

Then a close friend of Pete’s said on Twitter (paraphrased), “I had a dream that I was a spy. I think my handler was [that dude who played Draco senior in the Harry Potter movies] my handler.”

Now, I did not think that she knew what that meant to me at all. It was just something that triggered something else:

Suddenly, I was recalling the bad stuff between me and “Soul Sister.” Suddenly I was recalling the really weird unexplained stuff that happened at the NJSF that lead to my religious conversion. Suddenly I was wondering if my old friend, whom K*** once told had to either be “THE devil” or work for the CIA, didn’t have a hand in what was going on.

So, I read Peter’s friend’s blog. She stated that four people had gone camping. They discussed borders. She was obviously one of the four. Peter was another; that’s two. She mentioned David, who I assumed was David ******.

Who was the fourth?

I recalled suddenly that my old friend had worked in Canada. What if it was him? What if he was there, giving advice? What if, like the tricksters of old, was giving bad advice to Pete? (Now do you see what I meant when I said that “Glass” scared the s*** out of me? It doesn’t any more. This is just the evil equivalent of the Post Office acting as if there is no such thing as law and order…there still is, it’s just slower than a senator’s hand on a whore’s ass).

So. Here I am. None of these Canadians know me from Adam. If ***** is there making things worse, they are likely to believe him over me. How do I convince them that something bigger is afoot and to take what I say seriously, that I am willing to stake my reputation on it, that I would not lie about something like this?

Aha! I send the email to someone else, someone with responsibility, and CC the Canadians! I’ll even send them a PDF of my comic’s website showing that INSCOM (that’s the acronym, USAISC is the initials; it’s US Army Intelligence) visited the website and I had not even made it public yet.

Except of course all that really did was make them think I was crazy. It certainly did not do jack squat s*** to preserve my relationship, friendships, home, job, pets, careers, savings, retirement, health and sanity. If anything, it made the GOP look like it knows what it’s talking about when it says that the Federal government can’t do a single goddam thing worth doing. If they would just acknowledge that they are part of that problem, it might seem less disingenuous.

Probably up next: more about why I sent the four-part email (answer: remote torture).

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