BBD – Going With the Gut

“Yes, stand a little out of my sun.”
–Diogenes, in one of several attempts to tell the conqueror Alexander the Great politely to go f— himself, after being asked if there was anything he could do for the philosopher.

There are a few things on the backburner right now. One is a follow-up to the post about Jason Leopold uncovering that the Obama administration bases its actionable domestic intel on FOX News and warmongering think tanks in attempting to paint African-Americans as terrorists. Since then, there have been several new articles mentioning other think tanks doing similar, including one where a UK stinker suggests that conspiracy theorists may join ISIS. Between you and me, there’s a rumor going around that this guy likes to draw derogatory pictures of Mohammed in his spare time. But far be it from me to repeat gossip.

There is some overlap with this post regarding this overall phenomenon–think tanks make up reasons for more contracts, contracts get issued, money is flushed down the toilet and some of it makes its way back into the grubby hands of politicians–albeit only in the intended effect. I’ll explain at the end.

Though there were a few limited instances of weird mood, etc. after Plamegate, it wasn’t until Squidgate that, for example, my ex told my best friend behind my back that he was considering having me committed. I’ve detailed that in Wicked Game, even entitled a chapter regarding it and tried to explain the tortured logic of some emails and other actions I’d taken. Starting at about the middle or a little after of December 2009, my behavior altered somewhat dramatically.

I cannot place a date on when things went back to something resembling normal. This was and is more of a process than an event, and that came in spurts, setbacks, repeat. It’s something I’ve been reluctant to discuss, lest it invite a relapse.

Is it possible? Some background.


The MKULTRA draft goals memo dated 5 May 1955:

1. Substances which will promote illogical thinking and impulsiveness to the point where the recipient would be discredited in public.

5. Materials which will produce the signs and symptoms of recognized diseases in a reversible way so that they may be used for malingering, etc.

What is item 1 referring to? Seems pretty obvious. Character assassination of witnesses, whistleblowers, journalists, activists and others who might question or reveal the massive cash cow scam that NATSEC has become.

And item 5? The ability to harass and make bankrupt the same kinds of people by making them and their doctors believe that they have some disease or other.

Next, let’s discuss briefly Dr. E. Fuller Torrey. Torrey was quoted by the New York Times as describing Oscar Ortega-Hernandez as “classic schizophrenia” after the latter took some shots at the White House with a rifle some years back.

What Torrey neglected to mention was that he once worked at St. Elizabeth’s in Washington, DC, and that St E’s was once home to MKULTRA research. More recently, St. E’s was investigated by the Department of Justice for reports of violent behavior involving the patients there. A report was issued citing remedies for malpractice.

Further, Dr. T. forgot to mention that he subscribes to the theory that schizophrenia is not genetic, but biological in nature. That is, some substance or pathogen is responsible though susceptibility may involve some genetic factors.

Is this possible? Let’s see what some psych articles might tell us about it. You don’t have to click them, I’ll summarize the point.

Dale Archer MD, “Gut Bacteria Transplant: A New Treatment for Anxiety?” Psychology Today, 24 September 2013:

Emily Deans MD, “Schizophrenia and the Gut: Intestinal inflammation is linked to major mental illness,” Psychology Today, 21 September 2012:

The idea, working backwards, is that anxiety, depression, and even schizophrenia are related to neurochemical imbalances in the brain. In the latter case, there are opposing camps that state an over abundance of dopamine or serotonin are to blame.

But where do these chemicals come from? From the digestion process. Bacteria that aid digestion produce chemicals to the brain. Some varieties produce neurotransmitters and that may cause this chain reaction that ends up at emotional and/or psychological problems.

As I’ve been quite fond of pointing out, typically our brain chemistry determines our emotional state, and then we decide why that might be by looking around to see why. It’s the reverse of what we tend to think it is, at least under normal circumstances.

The suggestion is that severe trauma may trigger the dying off of certain bacteria and therefore the promotion of others that generate the chemicals. This may explain why, per the US Government’s own brainwashing document, isolation and trauma can result in hallucinations and other schizophreniclike symptoms. There is a hot debate right now, though neither Obama nor any other POTUS will end it despite flowery rhetoric, that solitary confinement can cause the same kinds of problems. We are literally creating mental illness and intentionally so in order to perpetuate the for-profit prison system on the macro level and to allow sadists to enjoy themselves on the micro one; just like the torture program.

But back to the point, are we all looking at the world with gut-bug-colored glasses? Has this mystery been solved to the point that this information can be used by spooks in order to achieve nefarious goals? Can you cause depression to the point that people like Gary Webb, Aaron Swartz, and Sandra Bland might succumb to it? This theory both competes and overlaps with the MKOFTEN study of pharma side effects one I’ve discussed in the past.

At any rate, I guess I know what it’s like to an extent. I’ve tried using several metaphors in the past, none of which really live up to the experience.

One was sort of like being trapped inside your own head and only able to communicate your thoughts via jokes, poetry, symbols, song lyrics–the words of others. The ability to form coherent trains of thought or to verbalize what is going on is crippled. See again item 1 above.

Another time I suggested dropping a cement block on your foot and attempting to do algebra while still in excruciating pain. While that gets close, I think it may not last long enough for the layman to get it.

Perhaps this new one may help. Move your workplace into a van or other vehicle. Drive to a location where there is a jackhammer in use. Try to get some work done only while the jackhammer is going. You might actually be able to get a few things done with practice. However, you will be incredibly exhausted due to the level of concentration required. You won’t be able to keep it up for long, and your work will suffer.

In any case, the how may go back to MKULTRA again and The CIA Manual of Trickery and Deception, also known as Mulholland’s Manual or the “Magic Manual” in the list of subprojects. The methods and means have likely improved since then.


But on to the next point regarding personal experience. I have also written about having been poisoned. I referred to it as “poison lite”: Not so serious that hospitalization was required, but I had to sleep sitting up for fear of drowning in my own vomit.

This began at the end of March of 2012 and continued for several weeks, after seeming to go away just long enough that I dared eat a full meal again. In any case, I wound up feeling as though my digestive tract had shut down. I started munching on two or three different probiotic products {these are for replenishing bacteria that aid in digestion} and yogurt {which also contain some of that}, and eventually felt more normal.

The side-effect: A chronic cough that is related to digestion. But as time has rolled on by, I haven’t had anything like what someone might refer to as episodes either.

Is it possible that the “poison” was doing just what I thought it was, and the purpose was to get rid of whatever dopamine- and/or serotonin-enhancing bacteria I may have been slipped in December of 2009? Was that horrible experience a purging of the bad gut bugs?

Now we get to the why. The timeline {if you are a target of any kind you should compile one} makes it clearer. While I was awaiting some fate or other in Minneapolis, my ex got married in November of 2011. As noted, it would have been nearly impossible to have repaired that relationship being schizo-lite, confused, and unable to verbalize my situation even if I had understood it. So they waited until it was clearly too late to start the “cure.”

The purpose, then, to make me realize what they had done in the hopes of driving me to violence. This in turn would be used so that some think tanks could claim that LGBTQetc are more likely to become terrorists than others. You’ll also note the likelihood of doing similarly with the mentally ill.

That is why. This is how.

This is really happening. As you can see, had I obliged them and done as they required–that is gone postal or whatever some place–an interesting question could be raised, though it wouldn’t be until 50 years from now. How much of this would have been my fault and how much the fault of those who harassed, drugged, etc. me? Where does “free will” end and human sockpuppetry begin?

You cannot entirely call it false flag in this case, can you? False flag implies party A performed an operation and party B was blamed for it. In this case, both party A and B are involved.

This is the world we live in now. One where ignorance is encouraged so that power can increase the value of its own knowledge. So that the NATSEC industry can create boogeymen upon which to profit on the one hand and to distract us and the media with on the other. It is times like these when I start to wonder if Wicked Game isn’t going to have a happy ending.

Whistleblower Carl Clark

Thanks to FFCHS for sending out the link to a English translation (PDF) {link updated 20150127} of this German article (PDF) – “Secret Surveillance and Electromagnetic Torture by the Secret Services.”

It’s a bit over-the-top in places, and yet much of what he describes (note the article is from April 2004 and I only just saw the thing a few days ago) matches my experience and my interpretation of the possible explanations for the experiences of others.

Continue reading


Sort of a shout out to the folks at Freedom From Covert Harassment and Surveillance. (Link to website and Facebook page are at right under Activism).

I know some folks are invested in the Organized Stalking phenomenon being one thing or another. I assure you I have considered most of those theories and the only one that makes sense is that is is a massive covert operation between the CIA and the Department of Defense (or some portion of it, including the NSA). There just is no other rational explanation and history supports this conclusion.

To illustrate my point and to, again, show that my experiences occurred and I documented most of them without ever having even heard FFCHS, gangstalking, organized stalking, etc. I will use a diagram that’s been floating around for some time and I found on the FFCHS FB page:


(This version is lower-resolution than the original and may be difficult to read in places).

I will take this list from the left going down and then jump to the top right and do the same, finishing with the bottom notes.


See the CIA MK/ULTRA draft memorandum May 5, 1955 (an appendix to the 1977 hearings – PDFHTML, this memo escaped the order to destroy all project documents because it had been misfiled. You’ll find it toward the back of the PDF, bottom of the HTML page), item #1:

Substances which will promote illogical thinking and impulsiveness to the point where the recipient would be discredited in public.

That they have moved from using only substances (ie, drugs) to electronics and biological pathogens is only natural as technology and bug-design has advanced. Understanding that you have probably been drugged is an important step towards surviving and resisting.


This is at least partially “MICROWAVE HEARING”. I can’t say I had precisely this experience, but I do recall the discussions I had with my boss where content may have changed. We both made claims that the other said things that we denied ever having said. He said he heard me say that I quit, while I said I heard him blame me for any financial difficulties the company was experiencing.


Don’t recall that one either, but I suppose I have that to look forward to. Instead, I have an itchy chest, ears, nose, throat that two rounds of antibiotics hasn’t been able to touch. See again the CIA memorandum, this time item #5:

Materials which will produce the signs and symptoms of recognized diseases in a reversible way so that they may be used for malingering, etc.

In other words, they try to turn you into a hypochondriac, get you to constantly see the doctor, and when the poor bastard is unable to figure out that you have been targeted by the Federal government and he is out of his depth, you would naturally assume that your doctor is one of “them”, once again achieving item #1’s purpose: to discredit you.


Not surprising, but don’t recall that one either. Wait until we get to the hand stuff below. Note the manipulation of muscles can be induced with EMFs. Scientists are doing this already, it made the news. (There’s even a brain “shotgun” that supposedly is about twice as effective at reducing depression as most prescriptions).


The first time this happened to me it was after a jog, so I attributed it to that. However, the second one was about ten to fifteen minutes after I wrote something particularly about the Koch Brothers (aka the Kochtopus), which I take to mean they tried to add the Koch’s to my list of suspects. (They are complete s***heads, mind, but even a pair of billionaires could not do this large of a scale operation).

This also happened to the judge, Monaghan, in the Squidgate pre-trial when the first scheduled preliminary examination was to occur. Peter mentioned on his blog both the white noise device (used to prevent the jury from hearing bench discussions) and a burrito.

I think it may have happened a third or fourth time to me. I don’t know, I mostly ignore it when they get repetitive…it bores me.


That may explain what I saw a month or so back. Weekend-Guest-Woman was “picking her seat” in such a way I would have only have expected to see in a Joe Dirt sequel. Really, not attractive m’lady. Hand in pants. The rest I leave to your imagination.


As I think I mentioned recently, I told the FBI that I don’t blame everything on the government and used a spill as an example. Then, when I got home after that meeting of the minds, my iPhone seemed to “jump” out of my hand because of an involuntary twitch, resulting in a cracked screen. Again, I’m thinking EMF for that one (I think EMFs can also make lights fade, blink, for those who have experienced “gaslighting”).

Additionally, as I mentioned on Twitter to Lynnae Williams a while back, Congressman Keith Ellison was on crutches last time I saw him and I don’t suppose there’s any harm in mentioning I contacted his office about what turns out to be NK/INTRA. He had jumped and come down wrong on his ankle or similar.

Now that is assault against a member of Congress. You would expect the Department of Justice and FBI to consider that to be in their jurisdiction, but because it’s the a**holes at CIA and NSA responsible (another of Ellison’s constituents was Mark, TI and former employee of NSA subcontractor Technodyne, I met him at that same event) they just look the other way as these criminals destroy democracy and take a giant s*** on the Bill of Rights that they have all sworn to protect. But I digress.


Can’t think of any reason that CIA and NSA wouldn’t pay special attention to your genitals. They are clearly perverts, look at the research.

Again, see the itching event above.

Forced orgasm I covered as part of Item 11 from the same 1955 memo:

Substances which will produce “pure” euphoria without subsequent let-down.

While it wasn’t quite that, late December 2009 to March or so 2010 involved a few wet dreams or something approaching that. Again, I point to this as the cause of many a politician’s problems and the weekend in 2006 in Indianapolis where I met an operative named Anthony Gipe. Also, the Secret Service scandal, an attempt to embarrass the POTUS’ guard and thumb their nose at the chain of command (I think that’s known as mutiny and carries the death penalty, but there I go with the wet dreams again).


Didn’t have those. I see that there is a recent message from a gent who is experiencing it from a recent FFCHS newsletter. A shame that politicians don’t care enough about their constituents to put a stop to this illegal program, but then they profit off of the security contracts that result from the fear and distrust it engenders, so we should not be surprised.


Flailing, no. I am a little disappointed to be finding out that others have experienced things like the “rigor mortis” and that they even gave it a name. See my recent post about that here. (“You’d rather see me paralyzed…” –Bob Dylan).

Additional note: probably a good idea to be careful when, for example, cleaning a swimming pool. Not a good time to lose your ability to move. (Oh, did I ruin another assassination attempt?).


I’ve actually had that for a long time. Hazard of working in a commercial office building with carpet for twenty years. Don’t know how that could be induced remotely and don’t think I’ve had that as part of my harassment regimen.


Didn’t have that. Not surprising, though. It must be remembered that electronics are largely the domain of NSA. They have always been ahead of the private sector. The early 80s testing of being able to see what’s on a computer CRT from outside a building before PCs and the Internet were household items is one example. This is how we know who is responsible. It’s unthinkable that if these people were not to blame that they would have tolerated this behavior on the part of someone else as it strikes right at the safety and security of the United States. It’s terrorism. The only logical conclusion is that it is they who are responsible along with others in CIA who are only interested in their own retirement funds and cashing in on the havoc they create.


I mentioned this just recently. Since voice-to-skull works, it’s quite possible to force thoughts just like forcing muscles. Sometimes, it’s probably not so much reading minds as seeding them or making educated guesses as to what you are thinking. They have a lot of experience with this, and probably know how most people will react to many of these things and plan for the alternate scenarios as well. In other words, it’s not purely electronic, but partially psychologically accomplished. A magic trick, basically.

Which doesn’t mean that electronic mind-reading is impossible. I just haven’t seen anything as yet that is not explicable some other way. Besides, if they really could read my mind, this would have been over a long time ago. 🙂


As I’ve noted before, certainly there are controlled daydreams. This is how they introduced more nightmare scenarios than I can count. It’s sitting back after and realizing, “If I actually were worried about that, this is how I would have imagined it” that made me realize initially that those things were external, not coming from my own brain. I’m an actor, a writer, a geek. I’ve spent a lot of time daydreaming, imagining. I know what my tendencies are and can therefore usually recognize when they are someone else’s.

This also especially applied to the two CGI clouds I saw in January 2010. Besides them not being what I would have done, why not a real shark, a real mushroom cloud instead of cloud-versions? If it’s a simple brain malfunction, why not all the way? Because it wasn’t. It was something along the lines of the SONY patent linked to at right.

Speaking of which, if it is possible to transfer sensory data onto the human neural cortex, then perhaps recording it and playing it back is a large part of what’s on the diagram above. Record someone in pain and “play” it back on someone without. Kind of like the squid-thingy in Strange Days which is a step away from the complete VR experience in The Matrix.


Like I said, they tried to, for example, convince me of the suicide of the object of memo item #12:

Substances which alter personality structure in such a way that the tendency of the recipient is to become dependent on another person is enhanced.

And that it was my fault from a piece of fiction that I wrote. That’s one of many examples. Most are to try to provoke violence or push to suicide. Again, that’s murder, assassination, and fomenting rebellion (another potential death penalty crime).


Voice-to-skull, V2K, V2S, the Frey effect, the radiowave or microwave hearing or auditory effect, it goes by many names. Proven.


As I’ve seen mentioned a lot lately (Hawking’s new show mentioned it I think) we don’t actually see as much as we think we do. Our eyes are not seeing as much of the field of view as we think. We even have two blind spots. But our brain makes up for the eyes’ shortcomings and fills it in with whatever data it thinks is accurate. We don’t even see color in our peripheral, but we think that we do.

So, while I’ve no idea how that is done (and have not had that experience) it strikes me as quite possible to “trick” the brain into thinking that the eyes are open and therefore it is filling in the details of what it thinks is there. Not so scary when it’s put like that, is it?


Not sure. Certainly had some ear ringing and as I said, current pain from the infection, but probably not to that degree. Note again item 5 of the memo about mimicking known diseases.


Haven’t had that either. More involuntary muscle inducement.


Same. Occasional muscle cramps, but usually those are the result of not drinking enough water, physical labor or exercise. Don’t doubt it for others though.


Did not have this. Sounds pretty intense.

Note the bold notes at the bottom right. The first is the public appearance of voice-to-skull. There may be the explanation of what I referred to as the “voodoo” experience in 1989 at the Ford Foundation-funded New Jersey Shakespeare Festivel that ultimately led to my religious conversion to Christianity around that time. I suspected hypnotism of some sort for a while now. I expect it’s much like that paragraph describes.

Now imagine that that was used on Al Qaeda. Instant police/surveillance state. Also the probable reason that one plane crashed in Pennsylvania before ever getting close to Langley (I believe this is where it was going based on the behavior of Buzzy Krongard; see posts with his tag).

Bottom notes about general effects:


This is covered directly in a FOIA request response from DoD in 2006. Directed sound can do that. It’s their toys at work.


Kind of covered that.


Not entirely sure what that is, but I’m guessing it’s the effects of caffeine felt based on where you are standing. It reminds me of a thing I experienced a few times and have not written about.

About three or four times in 2010, while walking at night in Minneapolis, I experienced a drunken sensation while walking near bars. I think this was an attempt to convince me that I’m psychic and was experiencing other people’s sensations. (I was actually on my way to get a drink at a different bar and had not yet had any alcohol when these events occurred).


I’ve covered this a lot. Real noise, phantom noise, pain and illness, being poisoned and having to sit up to avoid vomiting (which now I think about it, could also be “phantom sensation” projected via the SONY device), excess energy (such as that experienced by Heath Ledger for an extended period of time resulting in exhaustion and illness resulting in too many medications), nightmares, etc. That’s sleep deprivation, an “enhanced interrogation technique” (aka torture) approved by the US government.

Last night was a persistently annoying moth. See the Animal Control tag, this is old CIA research.


See memo item #16:

A knockout pill…

Also involves amnesia, which ties into the first, upper left note.


It’s not only that they are sometimes difficult to resist, but also that sometimes I wasn’t even aware that such a “command” had been given. This is especially true when it’s something I might normally do anyway, as I noted regarding switching drink preferences in a Toronto pizza place in April, and contrasted with waiting outside my hotel for an ambulance that I did not know was coming because the voice on the other end said to wait. This is how they got some pyromaniac to burn down the Conway condo with a laser. This is how they got Oscar Ortega-Hernandez to fire at the White House and then marched out CIA psychiatrist E. Fuller Torrey to diagnose him. This is how they got Bruce Ivins and Ted Kaczynski to send those crazy letters.

(By the way, I know this is one of those things that are trend-based in the media, but the utter lack of discussion and arrest of serial killers in recent years has me wondering…have they been recruited? Does the new Charlie Manson now work for Top Secret America in the name of the war on terror? Sure sounds like what Cheney meant when he said that the US needed to take a walk on the dark side. He was so full of s***, wasn’t he? Off his rocker, bats*** insane).


It did not occur to me that the burn on my leg might be the result of microwaves. I had assumed a chemical peel or a laser. And I remind the old readers, inform the new ones, the purpose was to take a piece of my skin to plant at some crime scene. Posting about it before it could happen prevented that (or to go even deeper into “double-reverse” deception, that was what I was supposed to think).


As I wrote before, there was the misplaced notebook and subsequent reappearance to help convince my partner I was insane (textbook psychological harassment), and my boss’ computer getting infected in the most horrible way I’ve ever seen done to a PC all around the same time in late 2009, early 2010.


I am amending that: training is another. We have lots of young psychos now running around in our intel community, many in the private sector as subcontractors. Also, as I said, it is to justify more illegal programs, to intimidate anyone who might try to push back, and to create the surveillance state we now find ourselves in. All-in-all, it’s going to be someone’s ass.

Speaking of which, I know there are quite a few Christian TIs out there. So, don’t take this the wrong way.

George W. Bush is a creep. The worst kind. He delights in war, death, and destruction. It’s not his fault, mind you. Daddy was head of the CIA for a while and it is said an operative some time before that. These men are psychopaths. Shrub especially is a small-minded, petty jerk. There is one infamous tale about how after he won the governor’s election, while he and that other lying creep Karl Rove were in a restaurant, W started taunting a reporter who had been against Bush in the election. He was saying, “We’re going to get you, you’ll be sorry,” etc. and laughing. Is that what Jesus would do? No. It’s what the village idiot would do.

Similarly with being conservative or Republican. The neoconservate ideology is extreme and much more akin to fascism than the original Grand Ol’ Party. They believe in lying, do not respect freedom and the Constitution, and care nothing for their fellow human. That the GOP seems to embody that nowadays is because it was hijacked by the neocons.

One pretzel nearly avoided some of this.

In any case, the fact that it’s not only Christians being TIed means it’s not a conspiracy against religion. Nor can it possibly be an international cabal of police associations. Those are ridiculous notions.

And I’ll be “fair” and say that the Democrats, neoliberals, and liberals can be and often are cowardly, criminal, and terminally ineffective in holding back the tidal wave of defense, security and intel spending that is making things worse.

Does this help put things into perspective? Columbia and Afghanistan. There’s your budget. CIA and DoD run the drug trade and then we pay DEA to try to fight it. This money is being invested in making the US a permanent cheap-labor, no benefits country. That’s the big picture.

In closing, a message to the folks who read this who are possibly not TIs in the same sense or who want to stay as far away from this subject as possible for fear of being labelled part of the “tinfoil hat society”:

Together we stand, divided we fall. This is the battle for the future of humanity. As melodramatic as that may sound, things can and will get a lot worse unless there is some clear, decisive action on this issue and soon.

Excerpt – June 23, 1963 CIA IG Memo & Report (Updated)

(Update: added item 6 from the memo that implies testing of behavioral modification on animals. This was also covered in later testimony by Stansfield Turner, covered elsewhere on this blog. Corrected Torrey interview subject.)

Memo, page 2:

6. The scope of MKULTRA is comprehensive and ranges from the search for and procurement of botanical and chemical substances, for programs for their analysis in scientific laboratories, to progressive testing for their effect on animals and human beings. The testing on individuals begins under laboratory conditions employing every safeguard and progresses gradually to more and more realistic operational simulations. The program requires and obtains the services of a number of highly specialized authorities in a number of scientific fields of the natural sciences.

7. The concepts involved in manipulating human behavior are found by many people both within and outside the Agency to be distasteful and unethical. There is considerable evidence that opposition intelligence services are active and highly proficient in this field.* The experience of TSD to date indicates the both the research and the employment of the materials are expensive and often unpredictable in the results. Nevertheless, there have been major accomplishments both in research and operational employment.

* This sentence is kind of contradicted by the next one primarily due to financial constraints of communist countries. Torture someone long enough (inexpensive) and you can get them to sign a false confession, repeat lines fed them on camera, etc. But that only generally holds as long as the threat of additional torture does. It seems, much like the distortions and exaggerations of Iraq WMD capabilities and actions prior to the invasion, that the actual capabilities of Soviet and Chinese intelligence in having advanced techniques such as those researched by CIA and the Department of Defense were non-existent. Much of the evidence for that seems to have been exaggerated or implied. It is much easier to, for example, hold a man’s family hostage to get him to perform a criminal act or act of war than to bother rewiring his head to otherwise make him want to do it or trick him into thinking he is actually doing something else.

Report, page 2:

b. Some MKULTRA activities raise questions of legality implicit in the original charter.

c. A final phase of the testing of MKULTRA products places the rights and interests of U. S. citizens in jeopardy.

d. Public disclosure of some aspects of MKULTRA activity could induce serious adverse reaction in U. S. public opinion, as well as stimulate offensive and defensive action in this field on the part of foreign intelligence services.

Again, note the fear-inducing suggestion that these activities, illegal, unethical and wholly anti-American but nonetheless approved and conducted, should be kept secret because they might upset people or cause the opponents—whom the memo already implies are ahead of the US on this research—might start doing what the memo claims as justification for doing it in the first place. Circular logic combined with emotional manipulation.

Report, page 4:

(1) Over the ten year life of the program many additional avenues to the control of human behavior have been designated by the TSD management as appropriate to investigation under the MKULTRA charter, including radiation, electro-shock, various fields of psychology, psychiatry, sociology and anthropology, graphology, harassment substances, and paramilitary devices and materials.

And the point that there is going to be non-device methods (psychology) and therefore also disinformation in the same. See post about NYTimes interview with Dr. Torrey regarding Ortega-Hernandez.

This was the CIA IG in 1963, Fourteen years before the Senate hearing.

(Final note: while typing this, multiple interruptions by ‘Gabe’ whom I have not heard from in days. Typical attempt to disrupt and delay. I’m sick of both. Shut this s*** down).

Once Again

This is in reference to the recent scandal surrounding Secret Service agents. Google it.

First, this is the exact same principle as what I mentioned in the previous post where CIA dosed the people on Air Force One with LSD in an attempt to derail the SALT talks. In this case, the goal was simply to give the a**holes in Congress an excuse to put the Secret Service in a position to be distracted.

How do I know? As I have already indicated, this is how the NY attorney general toughest on Wall Street corruption got ruined once he became governor. This was how they removed one of the staunchest critics of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and supporter of the peace potential for the so-called Ground Zero mosque from his seat in Congress. Hell, for all I know, this is how they created Monicagate. Clinton was on Scaife’s radar way before the road to the White House. This is how they (coupled with V2K manipulation of the two ladies after) nailed Julian Assange.

This is why I was running around lower Manhattan and frequenting the bars just before and after the Squidgate trial. The feeling of whatever thing they dosed people with I have previously described as feeling like there are rose petals flying out of your heart. You also get a warm, vibraty feeling in your guttywutts (yes, that’s from A Clockwork Orange but is apt) and lower. You know…lower. You feel like Casanova.

Now, when confronted by this phenomenon, so-called psychologists come trotting out on TV and in newspaper interviews with the phony narrative that it’s just the pressure of being so darn driven combined with a secret deep down need to be punished. (Recall again: Ewan Cameron, first president of the World Psychiatry Association attached electrodes to a woman’s brain for the CIA at McGill University. This was not an anomaly where CIA and mind control are concerned, just one of only a few court cases they lost). They are full of s***. These people like their success.

Similarly, you have that proponent of “schizophrenia has a pathogenic cause” E. Fuller Torrey, formerly of St. Elizabeth’s in DC, another hotbed for illegal human experimentation, stating that Jared Lee Loughner is a classic schizophrenic without mentioning the possible cause (and the potential that it was not accidentally introduced).

This means you really cannot believe all you read. Not even in the “good” papers. Not where CIA’s favorite research is concerned.

The question, of course, getting back to the point, is, why distract the Secret Service? If I have to explain that one, we really are doomed.

I’ll say it again: there has been a coup, folks. Neocons are running the show and those bastards are just so damn insane.

So, watch the train wreck in slow-mo helplessly as Congress behaves like they are doing something other than murdering the human race. There is no getting through to those greedy cowardly f***s. They are demanding the head of the head of the Secret Service but never bothered to go after, for example, George Tenet’s or Buzzy Krongard’s for the biggest intelligence failure since Pearl Harbor (though again, when the likes of Halliburton and Blackwater get no-bid contracts, it’s not a failure for the likes of Cheney and Prince). Seems to me that W missed 9-11 and that’s a bit of a bigger deal than trying to paint Secret Service as being anywhere near as misogynist as the GOP and its leader Rush Limbaugh. Yet, Bush got a pass from these same criminals.

Pointing Out the Old Posts – Grammar as Weapon? (Updated)

This one, for example.

The article link I added over there from MotherJones.

Referenced article in The Guardian

Referenced article at Politico

Wrong about who precisely, probably wrong about how and why, but right about something despite being a rightwingnut.

And, of course, my search for movie times in Minneapolis gave me information in AZ that day. Could have sworn I uploaded that pic already, but it was missing.

That’s what Ian Fleming would have referred to as not a coincidence, but rather enemy action.

Update: now imagine there are people like him inside. Smarter, better equipped, and above (or below, depending how you look at it) being responsible for their actions because they also manufacture fear, paranoia, and divisiveness.

You know, like what happened to Bobby Fischer or that dude from A Beautiful Mind, John Nash. Anyone not aboard the Corporatist Express and having the mental capacity to see the moves on the chessboard get their brains scuttled.

How similar do Fischer and Ivins sound, for example? Kaczynski and Loughner? E. Fuller Torrey and Ewan Cameron? Dan Markingson and Stanley Milton Glickman?

Or for that matter Dick Nixon and Dick Cheney?

MKULTRA 05-Continued (Faking Mental Illness)

(EDIT: Added YouTube of storm far down the page).

I decided that the previous post requires additional coverage. The faux diseases I focused on there were all physical ailments as opposed to psychological, and clearly the latter is just as important, if not more so. When you have a respected expert in schizophrenia seemingly dismissing the possibility of an intentional behavior modification in the case of Oscar Ortega-Hernandez, when he is also an advocate of the biological agent causal theory of schizophrenia, and when he once worked at a hospital with ties to mind control experiments (and one that was under investigation for mistreatment of patients), there’s enough to raise an eyebrow.

As I’ve noted repeatedly, we also had three actresses at the New Jersey Shakespeare Festival exhibit what appeared to be psychological ailments. Additionally, two male interns both committed a sex crime. And, again, the Watergate crew considered dosing people with LSD to discredit them by having them behave in ways that even “experts” would call insane in public (the goal of item #1 on this list). That’s a fact. Indisputable.

These are all matters of brain function.

As I look down the list of symptoms for, for example, I cannot help but chuckle as I check off the laundry list for myself at one time or other, but generally speaking only in how it appears to someone else.

For example:

Usually [process] schizophrenia is associated with “loners” who are rejected by society, tend not to develop social skills and don’t excel out of high school.

Well, I wouldn’t put myself into the over-achiever category, and while I preferred a smaller, tighter group of friends to a large group of fair weather ones, this certainly did not describe me. I moved from a rural town to New York City, started as an office clerk making $8/hour and worked my way up to a project manager making around $70k with bonus. I did so not with any particular talents other than interpersonal and communication skills, by building relationships, and not through sociopathic backstabbing (in fact, those are the kinds of people I took a great deal of pleasure in outlasting; they always seem to eventually f*** with the wrong person–read into that what you will).

But fast forward to post-torture, post-brainhacking, post-survival of assassination attempts, post-discovery of how broken our system is, how the corrupt excel at manipulating and stealing without any resistance, and you’ve got a very diffierent picture. Hanging out for long and talking about meaningless stuff with people who have no idea what I’ve been through…I hate to compare it to PTS syndrome because there are people who have seen things like their friends being blown apart in that category, but that’s essentially what it is. You cannot help but start to think, “This person is so f***ing naive about the world and how it actually works, how can I possibly create a meaningful, lasting bond with them?” Again, the drug ETS, used for overstimulating detainees under questioning makes some mundane things seem bigger, makes them tortuous.

Result: you get very choosy about your friends. Appears anti-social. Isn’t.

Note I didn’t say, “Because that potential friend might be one of them.” That’s because with voice-to-skull being used as it clearly is, any one of us, even me, can say something that would disturb someone else without meaning to. It’s a pointless concern. (If, on the other hand, for example, FBI or DHS wanted to waste more tax dollars inserting an agent or informant into my social circle–as was sort of the case with the eco-terrorist/informants–well that doesn’t frighten me either since I’ve nothing to hide. I am concerned about the behavior, the entrapment and pushing people toward being radicalized, doing the actual planning and material support, but I find nothing inherently frightening about an undercover agent. Generally speaking, I’ve gotten a good deal of entertainment out of such people… on tax payers’ expense. Thank Congress and Dick Cheney for that).

The positive symptoms are things like bizarre behavior, hallucinations, or delusions.

I’ll focus on the positive symptoms (since I just covered the anti-social anyway).

Bizarre behavior – well, the euphoria (which is actually #11 on this list and I’m still technically on #5) did some pretty bizarre things to me. For example, after being “released” from my job, I started jogging in Prospect Park in Brooklyn. Enjoyed some nature. Watched the squirrels. Some people might find that bizarre. It struck me as humorous and I really needed some laughs as you can probably tell from all the s*** that went down. The trauma was there, but it didn’t have the immediate impact because I didn’t take the events as seriously as they were intended to be. I could not, given how horrible they were, allow that. It would have resulted in behavior that would have been much worse.

Speaking of not taking things seriously…eg, being delusional…

I’m still not sure whether it was the same or yet another drug (coupled with voice-to-skull) but they did push the “reality show” narrative. See the article here with commentary. I had no idea other people had had the same problem (much less asked FBI to “cancel the show”, oh man that’s sort of a hoot except it’s also very sad and disturbing). I didn’t really believe it either but I actually tried to make myself believe it. Sounds crazy doesn’t it?

Recall the plot to Life is Beautiful? Roberto Benigni lies to his son while they are in a concentration camp because he knows he can’t handle the truth, that there are people in this world so inhuman, so unthinkably cruel, that they would do harm to a little boy like him. So, he tells the boy that it’s all a big contest, that the winner gets a tank. You probably recall the ending.

So, it went something like this, to put it in terms of a simple computer program:

10 You’re in a reality show

20 That’s ridiculous

30 Do you prefer the alternative? That you are hopelessly outnumbered, outspent, and going to be murdered and you haven’t a f***ing clue as to why?

40 Not really

50 Go to line 10

The reason they (we) come to this conclusion seems like such a jump in logic that it’s difficult to see how, even with the idea planted in your head via voice-to-skull, that it could be maintained. Here’s how.

I really didn’t start to notice this until my first night in Port Huron, but it seemed like literally everyone I met was larger than life. They can’t be real. The men I met in the Brass Rail the first night (Sunday before the trial). Each one seemed more like an archetype than a “normal” human. Each one had a fascinating story, something to say that struck me as coming off of This American Life or similar.

This continued. I even noted in disbelief that the condemned at the Squidgate sentencing hearing, in the hall beforehand, looked very well rested for someone who might have been about to spend two years in the slammer. (He might recall that comment).

I really don’t know what it was or which part of the brain was affected to make things seem that way. As I said before with regards to crossing a bridge under construction, sometimes it felt like my actions had no consequences, or couldn’t.

Again, I urge people to consider that in light of Jared Lee Loughner. We assume it’s always extreme hate, or an inability to empathize, but what if suddenly it’s not “real”? It’s a video game. A movie. A TV show. An elaborate prank. Further pushed because there are on occasion actual pranks being played. That ridiculous Asian man in the movie theater, for example.

And that was why someone suggested I go climb a skyscraper. Aren’t we an incredible species?

But as I said, I knew it wasn’t true, I just couldn’t figure out why it seemed that way.

So, delusions, covered: necessary self-deceptions in order to survive.

Hallucinations. See again the SONY patent and the pair of phony clouds and the sound of the hose in the wall. I promise you, those things happened, I did not imagine them (in so far as virtual reality projections “happen”).

The two hallucinations I did have were very minor and I believe a common side-effect of sleep deprivation. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw someone. When I turned to look a few seconds later (this seemed to happen while picking up dog s*** for some reason) there wasn’t anyone there. I think that’s a common side-effect of lack of REM sleep. The brain, eager to store memories as it normally does during the REM cycle, gives up on that and starts doing while you’re awake, causing some weird visual things. (“Thanks” again to Balding, Anthony and his roommate for the sleep deprivation. I’m sure you’re all still breaking your arms patting yourselves on the back for saving the US from science fiction and comic books or whatever delusions and lies you harbor yourselves.) I suppose it’s possible that that was somehow the SONY thing as well but I don’t think so.

Content of thought

The principal disturbance in the schizophrenic’s thought processes is multiple delusions. This is divided into two sub-categories, persecutory delusions (in which the schizophrenic believes that he/she is being talked about, spied upon, or their death being planned) and delusions of reference (which is when the schizophrenic gives personal importance to completely unrelated incidents, objects, or people. Other common delusions include thought broadcasting (they believe their thoughts are visible to the outside world) and thought insertion, which is what most people perceive schizophrenia as consisting of (their thoughts are not their own and are in truth being inserted into their minds by some outside force). Other delusions, such as believing oneself to be Jesus, may appear in extreme cases.

So, back to delusions. The near constant psychological harassment prevented me from figuring out why, but clearly if being a witness and test subject for illegal human experimentation projects designed to circumvent our system of democracy in favor of perpetual war doesn’t put you in a position to worry, what would?

A couple of examples, even at the height of the harassment (by the way, the main reason I kept thinking day after day that this was going to stop was I assumed it was all a big misunderstanding and not a bunch of greedy Constitution-hating pricks behind it), my friend Stu played a prank on me. He saw me walking down Prospect Avenue and started running at me (knowing something weird was going on, the bastard!) and kinda jumped on my back. He asked if I could hear his footsteps. “Of course. Didn’t think it had anything to do with me.”

Does that sound like someone with a persecution complex?

How about when I saw a young blond man leaving my apartment building laughing maniacally as if listening to an unheard voice and wearing a LDS t-shirt in the Summer of 2010? I even found blue powder in my freezer. Assumed initially he and I had no connection. Once I realized why and what the stakes are, of course it was related.

Giving weight to the unrelated. Probably. Well, definitely at times, but I referred to it as “poetry” more than part of the psychological harassment. (Still, when the first two guys you have encounters with one week apart after becoming single are named Ludo and Chris… ludicrous… you gotta wonder especially when you later discover that one of the owners of bar you met both of them in is former West Point and the Army was involved in the original MKULTRA projects).


In my letter to DHS in the attempt to put an end to the harassment, I threw an insult, I referenced Mark Twain’s comment in 1890 referencing, I believe, racism, when he said, “Today, the last thing Christ would be is Christian.”

And really, whether you believe in him or not, I think even torture-apologists would agree it isn’t “nice,” they just think being not-nice is a good thing. That was my point (that and an attempt to shame the shameless).

What was the result? Just a few days later…

Well, I detailed part of it but not all. It was one of the two days that CIA or whoever knew the weather report much better than I did and managed to get me far from my apartment before it hit. I spent several minutes under a deli’s roof overhang waiting for the dime- and nickel-size hail to stop. A piece of roof fell not a few feet from me (which the owner of the deli ran out and grabbed before I could snap a picture of–I assume he thought he was concerned about being sued). The roof bit made it into the short story “Job.” (YouTube video of storm while waiting next to area where piece of roof fell).

Anyway, on the way back there was an intersection completely flooded. There was no way to get through without getting wet. Unless, of course, one could walk on water.

It’s moments like that that I cannot help laughing with my torturers. To be clear, I never had delusions that ran that way. As I noted elsewhere, when they pushed the Ragnarok/Thor narrative in Brooklyn, I pretended to go along with it just so they would drop it. It was a common theme for them, casting S**** as the devil or trickster and me as his “good” opposite. I’m not that good. I’m also not bad enough to have deserved the treatment I got (nor good enough, if your mind runs that way).

Just another way to twist what I’ve said, to make it appear that I’ve completely broken from reality (or actually make it happen). The only break I have from reality is apparently that there’s anyone on the inside who gives a s***. So, sue me for being optimistic.

I think that covers most of the concepts. Sociopathy, the same. I care, I feel, but I won’t let these motherf****ers use that to control and manipulate me. Just won’t happen.

  • Calendar

    • June 2019
      M T W T F S S
      « Feb    
  • Search